Monday, March 30, 2009

The weekend.

Well, I had pretty much 2.5 days of no computer while I was home visiting my grandma and that is why I've had a lack of updates.

Grandma is not doing well, but she's still talking and bossing people like she is. I kept it together while I was in her hospital room, but promptly lost it once I was clear. There were so many people in the room that I couldn't just spend time with her and tell her how much I love her. I'm planning on writing her a letter in the next couple of days just so I can fully express everything to her before she's gone.

I did tear up a bit when we were saying goodbye - the hubs leaned in to give her a kiss and she just said - "YOU TAKE CARE OF HER! I MEAN IT!" in her usual bossy voice, but she really did mean it. And that's what got me started with the tears.

Anyway, it was my first real experience of being out with people when everyone knew I was pregnant. I have learned that I don't like being the center of attention. Every time people would talk about "the baby" it would just make me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure why...I think it really is because it is still early. Everyone is so excited and happy and feeling like the baby is going to change the luck in our family...and I keep thinking - I still have a month before I can let myself really be happy. That sucks.

I also had my first real case of the crabbies. I was so effing crabby Saturday night (I think it was lack of sleep and all the baby talk at dinner) that I nearly killed someone. Also, being sober around a bunch of drunk family members may have had an impact. Regardless, I was so farking tired by the time we got home I was nearly in tears. And I slept for a long, long time.

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