3 months.

My sweet, spitty baby.

You're three months old today. We celebrated by going to Babies R Us and buying you a few new toys, and by redoing my blog while you helped by sleeping. It was a fun day for sure.

You've already grown out of half of your 3 month sleepers, and have officially graduated to the level 2 nipples offered by Dr. Brown. (Pretty awesome, huh?)

I'm sad to say that the three month anniversary of your birth also means that momma's going back to work. Grandpa Mike had a couple trial Abbycare days in preparation the past few days. While I fully trust both him and Grandma Chris, I will more than likely cry every day that I leave you. In fact, today you cried while we were at the store, simply because you couldn't see me. And I nearly cried when I realized what that meant.

So, another month under the belt. Another month wiser, for both of us.

Love you much,

Momma.

2 months.

My dearest Abigail,

Yesterday you turned two months old. On Christmas day, we dropped you off at the Grandparents house for the evening so we could have a party with all of our friends. Occasionally I'd look around our house wondering who was holding you, only to remember you were safe and soundly sleeping in a house a few miles away. When your father and I finally called it a night, we both agreed that we barely could stand that you weren't here.

Saturday night, like I figured, you didn't sleep through the night like you normally do. I got up around 3:30 when your fussing became too much and groggily fed you your bottle. That's when I realized as much as I thought I'd hate not getting enough sleep and being woken up in the middle of the night...I absolutely love it. In fact, I prefer it. Staring at your beautiful face with only the orange glow of the light in your room is all I need to survive.

Love you much,

Mommy.

1 month old.

My dearest Abigail,

You turned one month old yesterday. I apologize that the day passed with little fanfare, but we had lots of stuff going on. You were lucky enough to celebrate with your grandparents and great auntie Mitzi, so that may have been gift enough. You've changed so much already in the past month that I'm already starting to worry about how much you'll change before your two month mark! You're barely fitting in your newborn onesies anymore (those long skinny legs!) and are getting stronger by the day. Daddy's attempting to show you how to hold your pacifier in your mouth with your buddy (aka your right hand) and sometimes you get it, but most of the time you're spitting it out of your mouth at warp speed. You haven't slept through the night yet, but I'll take it since you really only ever cry when you need something, and once that's taken care of, you're back to happy mellow baby.

I'm getting really excited for your first Christmas. I already bought you a stocking and am busy compiling the list of things you'll be getting. I'm more concerned about gifts for you than making a list for myself (which I've usually completed by now). I guess when the mental short list for myself includes a new MacBook and a dishwasher I quickly am jolted back to reality and focus on the $14 Soothe & Glow Seahorse that's on your list. (Trust me, you want one.)

Anyway, I must go. John Mayer tickets go on sale in 2 minutes and Mommy needs to get front row so I can wear his sweat for a couple hours. I'll explain that when you're older.

Love you much,

Mommy.

Dear Ninja: A Plea.

I'm just as appreciative of a good joke as the next girl, you know this. However, if these random contractions...these REAL contractions - don't amount to REAL LABOR soon, we're going to have a long talk about how rude it is to lead someone on.

I had the most painful one so far this morning, around 5:30am. It woke me up. I thought maybe it was just the evil combo of a braxton hicks along with a full bladder. However, after peeing, it was obvious it was much much more.

I've since had maybe 3 other contractions this morning that made me pause for a moment and made me unable to think of anything else. Of course, there's no rhyme or reason to these contractions, and they're lasting between 2-4 minutes a piece, with as much as FIVE HOURS apart.

My parental units will be here in about 5-6 hours.

I will say, if this DOES turn into labor this weekend, the Ninja will get a gold star for timing. Having my mom AND dad here for the big event would be more than I could ever hope for.

I'll attempt to not get my hopes up.

Also, it's snowing like a mo-fo right now.

Oh - and John the midwife called last night and said my bloodwork looked okay, so if nothing happens this weekend, I'll be seeing him on Monday.

Maybe a little early, but a letter.

My dearest babybee,

Today, you have been in my tummy for 9 weeks. In those 9 weeks, many things (not all of the exciting nature) have happened. I've been to Mexico, you've grown a liver and other vital organs, I've slept and complained a lot, and we both ventured to the Twins home opener last night. I'm sorry to report that they lost, but this shall not shape the season to come. I've gotten off track.

The reason for this letter is to tell you that something sad happened last night. Your Great Grandmother passed away. It saddens me to no end that she never got to meet you. More importantly, that you never got to met her. She was a hell of a woman (pardon my french, dear babybee, but she must be described in this manner) and made me who I am today because of it. She toughed through 5 years of ovarian cancer when they only gave her 2. And she smoked and drank her way through it! She was not about to let anyone or anything tell her what to do. She lived her life the way she wanted to, and for that I have the utmost respect for her.

Even though you're not aware of her existence right now, she knew about you. Just a couple weeks ago, she saw your very first picture, and she was so excited for you to be here. I know that she would have spoiled you rotten the way she spoiled me. And she would have loved you very very much.

Alright, momma has to stop right this now, since she is at work, at her desk, in a room full of people, and is about to cry.

Your daddy and I love you very much. Thank you for being with me, with us, to be the light in our lives in this dark time.

Momma

PS - Thank you for helping my body feel good for the second day in a week. I don't know how you knew I needed it today, but I did. Thank you, thank you, thank you.