Thursday, December 31, 2009

Oh, and one last thing.

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It's been real, 2009.

So...we've come to the infamous blog post on New Year's Eve where bloggers 'round the world spout off resolutions everyone knows they won't keep and wrap up the year. (I find it hilarious that I only blogged more because I got pregnant, and did not lose 10 pounds but instead gained 40 and then lost essentially I GAINED 10lbs. Awesome.)

Mine shall be no different.

If ever there was a year that was a rollercoaster of emotions, it was this one. The nerd in me wanted to make a line chart of my ups and downs, but that seems a little excessive.

I ended 2008 by driving to Lutsen, MN in THE WORST BLIZZARD EVAR and then skied my way into 2009. I took a girls trip to Vegas where I crippled myself in my last attempt at heels. I went to Mexico with the hubs and my parents, where I peed on a stick and found out my life was never to be the same. Not long after that, my beloved Grandmother Gabba took a turn for the worse, and in April, she passed away.  I said goodbye to a friend far, far too early. Over the summer, I bitched and moaned about being pregnant with Abby, who kicked my ass internally. I had a baby shower, and had to put my darling kitty Miles to sleep. I attempted a weekend in the north woods at 28 weeks pregnant. I turned 29, had about a million labor scares, had another baby shower, gave birth 2 weeks early to my precious daughter, born on her late Great Grandmother Gabba's birthday.  And for the past 2 months I have watched her grow to be the best baby a mother could ask for.

If ever there was a year of growing up, this was it. I can safely say that I am not the same person I was on that chair lift in Lutsen a year ago. I am so much different. I know what it's like to lose a part of your heart by losing a loved one. I also know that there is no love like the one you can have for your own child. My mother has become more of a best friend than I ever imagined, and more important to me now that I know what she went through for me. (Read: LABOR.)

I'm not totally ready to file this year away. Parts of it I'm more than happy to try to forget, but others I feel like I never should forget. However, in a little more than 12 hours, 2010 will be here whether I like it or not.

I AM excited to see what 2010 has to offer. It's no longer about me, but all about Abby. I do turn 30 next year, so that sucks, but unlike this year, I'm looking forward to closing the door on my 20s. But that's another post for another day. (Another day, in September. Start thinking of appropriate birthday gifts NOW, people.)

My resolutions? Fast and furious - Try to be healthy and be the best momma I can be. I'm pretty sure those aren't too lofty. 

So, that's a wrap. We'll see you in 2010, ladies and germs.

Monday, December 28, 2009

2 months.

My dearest Abigail,

Yesterday you turned two months old. On Christmas day, we dropped you off at the Grandparents house for the evening so we could have a party with all of our friends. Occasionally I'd look around our house wondering who was holding you, only to remember you were safe and soundly sleeping in a house a few miles away. When your father and I finally called it a night, we both agreed that we barely could stand that you weren't here.

Saturday night, like I figured, you didn't sleep through the night like you normally do. I got up around 3:30 when your fussing became too much and groggily fed you your bottle. That's when I realized as much as I thought I'd hate not getting enough sleep and being woken up in the middle of the night...I absolutely love it. In fact, I prefer it. Staring at your beautiful face with only the orange glow of the light in your room is all I need to survive.

Love you much,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A snowstorm and a holiday.

Santa is coming tomorrow. As is a huge snowstorm.
So I may be absent for a while.

Or...if I'm snowbound, there may be a ridiculous number of posts.

Only time will tell.

In the meantime, happy holidays.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

You're all screwed.

Momma got a new camera.

 Abby's not amused.

Maybe someday she'll smile and we'll get it on film.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I can't clean like this.

One foot on the bouncy chair, making it go. This make cleaning virtually impossible. Unless you call blogging about not being able to clean "cleaning."

We're having a decent sized Christmas party on Friday night for our friends, and our house looks like the setting for the latest apocalypse movie. (2012? Yeah, our living room was the backdrop.) I can't hold Abby cause that's pissing her off. The moby isn't an option. Apparently, sleep is SO 2 days ago.

But how can I get upset with a face like this?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

This is where I get mushy.

This morning, as I'm sitting here, enjoying my new favorite talk show (Bonnie Hunt. I love her. That Chicago accent!! It just reminds me of home.) Abby's in my lap kind of squirmy but also kind of sleeping. And I start to get mushy because she's just all kinds of cute.

I love the way she squeaks when she stretches. Did I mention she stretches all the time? Because she does.

And the thing that gets me so much is when she laughs in her sleep. Do all babies do this? She isn't smiling really that much - just an occasional one here and there that we pretty much have to bribe out of her. But when she sleeps? She's all smiles and laughs. It melts my heart. And then this morning it dawned on me that someday, she'll do that when she's awake...and it'll be because of something Josh or I did.

Someone pass the kleenex.

And PS - she slept through the night THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW. Except last night. That didn't work so well. I'm guessing it's because her routine was changed, and we weren't home until nearly 11pm from the in-laws. We'll try again tonight.

Monday, December 14, 2009

You were not missed. And...STTN!!

It was not a surprise when I woke up this morning to the arrival of that bitch Aunt Flo. I've been having cramps on and off since Friday.  However, prior to getting pregnant, I never got pre-period cramps, only one day of HOLY HELL MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ARE GOING TO FALL OUT kind of cramps.

Being pregnant sucked. You all know how crappy it ended up for me.

I long for those days now.

John the Midwife says my Mirena IUD should eventually take care of my cramps and make my monthly visitor lighter and less painful.  He also warned me that this first post partum period is going to totally suck. I'm fastening my seat belt as we speak.

No, not that belt. Extra points if you know what that is.

I should also mention here what STTN means for those not in the know. That stands for SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Also, this took place in HER CRIB, not in our room.

Excuse me while I pause to do an effin happy jig.

We had her video monitor hooked up to our TV so all we had to do was open our eyes to see her. She did a lot of waking and squirming, but after a couple minutes would fall back asleep. From 11pm till 6:30 she slept. I woke up a lot, but got so much more sleep than when she's in our room.

One problem was that she basically had icicles on her ears and hands. Our house is a quaint, drafty home built in 1932. Even with the heat set at 72 degrees it was still chilly willy. So, tonight we'll attempt it again, but hopefully will keep her warmer.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thumbs Up or Not So Much: Baby Edition

This is going to be a huge post. My apologies in advance.

I'll start by saying this - I purchased a LOT of things based on recommendations from friends, internet ratings and just because it looked cool. Some things worked great - others I wonder why I ever bothered. Hopefully someone can learn from my mistakes! Without further ado:

Thumbs Up
SwaddleMe wraps - I bought one of these from or something without knowing much about it, and ended up buying 3 more from Babies R Us. Abby LOVED being wrapped up tight, and it was the only way she'd sleep soundly (and still to this day!) Swaddling with a regular blanket did not work, as she'd kick or punch her way out of it. I had four, 2 fleece and 2 cotton knit. I probably could have gotten by with just one of each, but Abby doesn't spit up much so...take that as you will.

Graco Pack N Play - Anyone who's going to be traveling with the wee babe, or needs something for grandma's house - THIS is what to get. Between the bassinet feature and changing table (that folds out of the way) it's everything you need while on the road. It even has a mini diaper caddy and wipes holder.

Fisher-Price Little Lamb Swing - I know most of the baby world knows how great this thing is already, so I won't go off the deep end with compliments, but it's pretty damn great. Abby loves hers. And momma just found out the seat sits up or lays down. (I'm a slow learner apparently.)

Air Flow Sleep Positioner - I don't remember why I was inclined to buy this (probably the instilled fear of SIDS) but it is WONDERFUL. Abby rolls onto her side pretty easily - not with this product. It's adjustable, and she doesn't seem to notice. The piece of mind it offers is worth the $13 or whatever it cost.

Cloth Diapers - Yeah - I don't cloth diaper. (Tell me about how I'm destroying the environment later.) However, these things are THE BEST burp cloths. Don't bother with the cutesy burp cloths sold by Gerber - they're too thin and Abby ends up getting soaked unless we double them up. Cloth diapers are the way to go.

Aden + Anais Swaddle Wraps - These are HUGE muslin blankets great for swaddling, emergency crib  sheet, etc etc. A good lightweight blanket for summertime as well. Also - BUY THEM FROM TARGET - they're about $15 cheaper than if you buy them anywhere else. Don't ask me why.

Soothe & Glow Seahorse - Again, this is all over the baby boards as being awesome so I won't bother going into it. Just trust me - IT WORKS.

Tiny Love Symphony in Motion Mobile - I LOVE this mobile. It's perfect with bold colors and black & white graphics. Unfortch, it's not being produced anymore, but Tiny Love has other mobiles that are just as awesome. I bought mine on craigslist. Here's where I'm not so much on this - the motor was a bit loud, so I tried to contact Tiny Love to get a replacement part. I called them 4 times, leaving messages 3 of those times, and sent two emails trying to get ahold of someone. I still have yet to get any sort of reply. long as it never breaks this is an awesome mobile. :)

Bink Link Pacifier Clip - I'll admit, when I saw little Madeline (of Matt & Madeline fame) with one of these I ordered one. Like, 5 months before I even tried to get pregnant. It was just too cute. And it's also a lifesaver. Abby loves her pacifier, but also enjoys spitting out just as much. This stops it from hitting the floor. And stops me from having a nervous breakdown.

Moby Wrap - I don't use this too much yet - but the times I have made it worth the money. I'm sure I'll use it more as she gets older and when it's not eleventy billion degrees below zero.

Bassinet (courtesy of craigslist) - I wasn't going to buy one since I had planned on using the Pack N Play in our bedroom. Then, a couple months before my due date I realized there was no way in HELL that huge thing was going to fit in our room. I didn't see the sense in buying a brand new bassinet when she was only going to use it for a couple months, tops. I got mine for $30, and it was in great shape. Ours is two pieces, so you can bring the "basket portion" into the living room, leaving the base behind.

Wet Happened Bag - Such a good idea. Anytime Abby's spit up or somehow managed to piss all over her clothes while we were out and about - her clothes went into this bag, keeping everything else dry and smelling good in her diaper bag. I have the "orchid groovy" print.

Summer Handheld Video Monitor - We tried the traditional audio monitor in our house and for whatever reason got nothing but feedback. (WiFi interfering? Who knows.) We had our eye on this the whole time, and finally broke down and bought it. LOVE. We have to keep the door to her room closed since our cat loves her crib more than she does - so having an ear AND eye on her from anywhere in the house is awesome for peace of mind. It was spendy, but I got it on sale at Babies R Us and it's been worth every penny.

Burt Bees "Baby Bee" line - I received Johnson's, Mustela and Burt's Bees products as gifts...and I have to say I love the Burt's Baby Bee products the best. (Ironic name, no?) Their line is almost 100% natural and smells just as good if not better than the Johnson's line.

Munchkin Safety Bath Duck - If you're like me and enjoy a scalding hot bath, it can be kind of scary selecting a temp for your little one. This little ducky stopped me from worrying if the tub was too hot. 

And websites I purchased many an item from - and

Not So Much

Halo Sleep Sacks -I have 3 of these (including a swaddling version from the hospital) and I've used one a couple times. Here's my issue (and maybe it's just a seasonal deal) - her arms are not covered while she's in this thing (the non-swaddle version). It's cold in our house at night, and this didn't keep her warm. Fine for napping, but I'm not sold.

Itzbeen Timer - I bought this because in the beginning I was having a hard time remembering when I had fed Abby. Problem is, I also had a hard time remembering to hit the button every time I did, which makes this thing pretty useless. I will say I use the light on it all the time, as I have it clipped to the bassinet. (Then I don't have to turn on my light in the middle of the night and wake up the mister.) Might be more helpful for breastfeeding mommies (helps to remind which breast you nursed from last).

Carter's Cuddle Me Safari Bouncer - I registered for this because it was cute, neutral and had a vibrating option. IT SUCKS. Her head rolls all around (despite the head positioner) and the vibration makes this thing sound like it's going to fall apart. It's SO LOUD. We had to stuff folded up paper into it to try to quiet it down and it just vibrates out and the one million decibel vibrations resume. I wish we had a chair that was quiet, because she likes it, but momma can't stand the sound. But I can't bring myself to buy a different one.

Fold Away Baby Bath - I thought this would be nice to have since it folds up so small, but it's ridiculous. I can't use it alone, she slides all over the place on the inflatable bottom. It might be better when she's older and can sit up on her own, but not now. Also, the plastic feet made the tub itself slide all over our tub. We ended up with one that looks like this (sans the froggy stuff) and it's MUCH better, I can actually give her a bath myself.

Gerber Burp Cloths - As I mentioned above, these things are adorable but need to be doubled or tripled up to prevent the formula from leaking through. 

Baby Cache "Tampa" Crib & Dresser - I only put this here because I have a complaint. The wood is REALLY soft and there's lots of dents and deep scratches in both of these already (some scratches from my kitty's claws!!) and that makes me sad for how much they were. Other than that I really like the design and build of these two...but scratches = sad.

Thumbs up or not so much: Pregnancy Edition

The list of what saved me and what I didn't need.

First Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Be Band/Bella Band was my BFF. Bloating can get out of control, and you really shouldn't buy maternity pants until you're really getting a baby belly. (I jumped the gun and bought a pair at 14 weeks and couldn't wear them by my third trimester because they were too tight.)
SeaBands really helped my morning sickness. Lucky for me, I wore them in the spring when long sleeves were still needed, because you can't really hide these things. But I didn't take them off for weeks. LIFESAVERS.
Seltzer & lime in a highball - to fool the friends and family that yes, you are still a lush and aren't pregnant.
Yoga pants - stretchy pants are SO needed for lounging around the house.

Not so much:

Again, hold off on buying maternity clothes (specifically pants) for as long as you can, because chances are what you buy now won't fit later on.

Second Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Body Pillow - I didn't bother with the Snoogle (by Boppy) because it seemed ridiculous to drop $50 on a body pillow that's really only useful while pregnant, so I bought a cheapie one available at Target - $10 for the pillow, $10 for a cover. LIFESAVER. My hips hurt so bad from sleeping, it just changed everything.
Boppy Wedge - I DID spring for the Boppy Wedge pillow. I found I could use it between my legs on nights when I wasn't feeling the body pillow, and when I got bigger, it was a nice support for my belly while on my side. (However - wedging it behind my back screwed me up BIG TIME. Be warned.)
Prenatal Yoga -  I went to a Yoga studio that specifically is meant for pre- and post-natal yoga. It was AWESOME and really helped my back pain and overall well being. Of course, I had to quit going thanks to the preterm labor business. 
Fake Wedding Rings - I outgrew mine and went without for a while (instead wearing them around my neck) but then got nervous about that and bought a fake set instead. I've been back in my real set for a few weeks now and I'm so happy - but even happier that I went through my pregnancy with SOMETHING on my ring finger.

Not so much:
Gaiam Prenatal Yoga DVD - I bought a DVD online and it's still in the packaging. Basically, just like my workout DVDs - if I don't have a real live human being in front of me going through the motions, I won't do it.

Third Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Pregnancy Massage - I only did this once, and I was SO MAD at myself for not having done it sooner. Laying on the pregnancy pillow which allows you to lay on your stomach ALONE was worth it. Well worth the money.
Bra Extenders - I ended up going from a 32C, to a 32DD, to more like a 34D at the end of my pregnancy...and a week after buying the 34D bra - THAT felt too tight. Enter the bra extenders. I wish I would have found these before I bothered buying the 34D bra...but that one WAS a no underwire, which was also quite necessary.
American Apparel Fine Jersey T Dress - I bought a couple of these in the second trimester and wore them to the end. And I am still wearing them now. They stretched to accommodate my belly and were SO COMFY. 

So, there's the list of Pregnancy needs and things not so much. I may add to this later if I think of something else!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Apparently I'm a great looking bed.

Abby has not let me put her down for more than 20 minutes today. Once she realizes she's not on mommy's chest anymore, the waterworks begin. I've created a monster.

Anyway, to catch up, here's the latest in baby land.

She has not slept as long as she did that Sunday night again. In fact, it's like she's waking up more. Boo-hiss. Also, we may have to transition her to her crib sooner rather than later since it's supposed to get so damned cold here this week, and her bassinet is pretty close to a cold wall and drafty window. So, we'll see.

I cleaned and organized Abby's room a few nights ago, and I'm so happy I finally got to it - her room has a floor, turns out. The shelves that need staining are in the hands of my father in law...and the room is FINALLY near completion.

I'm thinking about putting together a list of things I loved/worked well while I was pregnant and stuff I've used/liked and not used/disliked since I've had Abby. If this is something you'd be interested in - let me know!

And finally, in my first step in keeping Abby an only child (at least for the next few years), I'm having an IUD placed tomorrow. Mirena to be exact. I've got my darvocet at the ready, and my mother in law on hand to keep an eye on Abby while I possibly lie on the couch writhing in horrid, crampy pain. I'll deal though. The thought of not having to think about birth control for the next 3-5 years sounds freaking AWESOME. Especially if it tones my cramps down and well, WORKS.

So, there's a boring update for now. Friday we're headed back to my parents for our (early) Christmas. Yessss...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Quickly dropping in...

...amid baskets of dirty laundry and a baby who apparently doesn't care for the Jeopardy theme song to mention the following:

On Sunday night, after 5 hours of being in the car all day (read sleeping), Abigail SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Well, from 12-6:30. As far as I'm concerned that's all night. Of course, it hasn't been replicated, but HOT DAMN - that was awesome. Last night, had it not been for her wet diaper, I think she could have done it again since she fell back asleep after being changed. Le sigh.

In other news, Christmas is fast approaching and I have yet to purchase a gift or even have a clue as to what to get anyone. Not even the hubs. We're celebrating Christmas at my folks house in like, 10 days. I'd better get crackin'. (And Mom - you'd better get that massive tree up!) The hubs and I will be picking out our wreath this weekend while his parents cut down their tree (we have a fake one), and I have to figure out how to dress Abby for the coldest temperatures she will have ever experienced.

Alright, I must go. Abby has clearly had enough of her swing and I don't think I can handle another crying jag.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

1 month old.

My dearest Abigail,

You turned one month old yesterday. I apologize that the day passed with little fanfare, but we had lots of stuff going on. You were lucky enough to celebrate with your grandparents and great auntie Mitzi, so that may have been gift enough. You've changed so much already in the past month that I'm already starting to worry about how much you'll change before your two month mark! You're barely fitting in your newborn onesies anymore (those long skinny legs!) and are getting stronger by the day. Daddy's attempting to show you how to hold your pacifier in your mouth with your buddy (aka your right hand) and sometimes you get it, but most of the time you're spitting it out of your mouth at warp speed. You haven't slept through the night yet, but I'll take it since you really only ever cry when you need something, and once that's taken care of, you're back to happy mellow baby.

I'm getting really excited for your first Christmas. I already bought you a stocking and am busy compiling the list of things you'll be getting. I'm more concerned about gifts for you than making a list for myself (which I've usually completed by now). I guess when the mental short list for myself includes a new MacBook and a dishwasher I quickly am jolted back to reality and focus on the $14 Soothe & Glow Seahorse that's on your list. (Trust me, you want one.)

Anyway, I must go. John Mayer tickets go on sale in 2 minutes and Mommy needs to get front row so I can wear his sweat for a couple hours. I'll explain that when you're older.

Love you much,

Friday, November 27, 2009

So much to be thankful for.

We made the five hour drive with little to no drama (stupid travel warmer is a piece of crap), and Abby rewarded us with three, count 'em...THREE poops in 12 hours. (I KNOW, right?!) The pack-n-play was set up with ease and it's the greatest invention of all time. Ours has a changing table and bassinet attachment.

Yesterday morning started out with friends of my parents stopping by with gifts. Eventually Abby was turned into one.

My mom, auntie and I made Thanksgiving dinner and everything turned out spectacular! I made my grandma's infamous frozen fruit salad. It was delish and a big hit as usual. I've decided it's now my job to make that for every holiday in her honor. Abby will eventually have to learn how to make it, since it's her middle namesake's recipe.

After dinner, we all sat in a chair, and the tryptophan kicked in. (Well, for Abby I'm sure it was just a pleasant milk drunk.)

So so very much to be thankful for.

**A big thank you to Mitzi for being my personal photographer while she's here. LOVE that iPhone.

Monday, November 23, 2009

So THAT's where I dropped it.

You know when you're eating something and food drops off your fork or something, and you KNOW it happened, but you can't find it?

Well I finally found it. Roasted garlic hummus in the folds of my daughter's neck last night. And even after I thought I got it all, I'm still finding (and smelling) it.

I think I just gave up my place in the running for mommy of the year.

Friday, November 20, 2009

I love my husband.

Thanks to the hubs being on all night baby duty (in the living room), I got to sleep through the night. TEN WHOLE HOURS. I haven't slept more than three hours consecutively in weeks. Ten hours...that's like 3.5 nights worth of interrupted sleep combined.

I felt drugged when I woke up...similar to how I felt on the magnesium after Abby was born. It quickly faded into feeling totally refreshed and like a new mommy.

Now it's just about 1pm, the hubs is about to be woken up...and Abby is fast asleep. We're going to attempt an afternoon out today. Pray for us.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Moby WIN.

I attempted the Moby a little over a week ago and it was a huge FAIL. Like, huge. I had Abby in the cradle hold, and attempted to do the dishes. She ended up in my armpit and under my arm, curled into a weird position, whimpering the whole time. I realized I probably didn't have it tied tight enough and didn't want to attempt it again lest I traumatize her more and make her hate it.

So, today, I tried again, this time with the newborn hug hold and tied as tight as I could. Here's the result. She slept for about 30 minutes, cried for a diaper change, went back in and has been sleeping since.

Dearest Moby makers, I love you.


I'm choosing to blog over showering.

I'm sure I'll regret that decision this afternoon.

Anyway, Abby is sleeping soundly in her bassinet, and I'm back to being alone during the day. My bestie A was here for FIVE WHOPPING DAYS over the weekend and I miss her terribly already. She was so much help...and so much fun! (A - move here. DO IT.)

Other than having visitors, not much is going on. (Warning, poop talk fast approaching.) Abby's on a good schedule of pooping every other night, so that's good, I suppose. She's eating a lot and getting a little chubby in the cheek area. I also noticed she's getting some awesome eyelashes, so I think we can add another tick in the "mommy trait" column.

Speaking of mommy...I'm exhausted. I get through the days okay, but it's getting more and more difficult to be a smiley mommy. I'm not so much depressed, just totally wiped out. The hubs has promised me a couple nights of real sleep this weekend, and I cannot effing wait. I think it'll make a huge difference. I don't know if our weeknight routine is working. Maybe this is just what people do in the first few months...daddy sleeps more since he's working and momma just turns into a zombie that forgets to brush her teeth and lives on Slim Fast shakes because they're easy. What do/did you do during the first few months to survive?

Luckily, the hubs and I scored on the H1N1 flu mist last week (thanks, Chris!) so, at least I don't have to worry about getting that. I have a feeling I'll be getting a cold or something soon with the little amount of sleep under my belt. Fingers crossed I don't.

And finally, a week from today, Abby will be taking her first trip back home with us. Five hours in a car with a 4 week old baby. Am I insane? Oh well. I can't WAIT to go home. It's been a long time.  And TURKEY!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks since we had Abby - it seems both like yesterday and like we've always had her. Things for the most part are going well. I have a call in to the doctor about her newest development - screaming unconsolable crying that lasts for about 60-90 minutes, complete with stiffening, arching body and coughing, and crying to the point of breathlessness. I'm suspecting a slight case of reflux. Or colic. Or "I hate you Mommy" syndrome. At any rate, I spoke to a nurse, and I'm just waiting to see what they have to say.

She's getting stronger by the day - holding her head up on her own a few times a day (viewed during burps), hanging onto her pacifier (and also ripping it out of her mouth) and I've learned that she smiles (sometimes) when both her cheeks are tickled. She is the light of my life, even if she did make me cry last night because I couldn't calm her crying.

Side note: the hubs was baffled that my overly emotional self was still around ("You're crying because she's crying?") and wondered how much longer I would be in this state. I assured him that this was still normal and I was probably going to cry again at some point. I'm sure his concern is more towards PPD than the fact that I'm a blubbery mess without even trying. I'm definitely not depressed. Just tired. REALLY tired. And hate seeing my baby seem to be in pain.

And also - in case anyone wanted to see...and well, frankly...I'm so effing stoked at wearing my "normal" jeans - I've included a belly shot of where I'm at today.


Oh, and here's a picture of Abby. Because how could I not?

Monday, November 9, 2009

So far, so good.

Today was the hubs first day back at work. Last night seemed to go okay, I think he slept enough. I actually slept a little more as well - maybe like 3-4 hours total. And Abby, well, she slept too. Not through the night or anything, but we all did okay.

Today, I ventured out of the house BY MYSELF WITH ABBY. And it didn't blow up in my face. Granted, we were only gone for about an hour, but she barely stirred and pretty much slept the whole time. Remind me to write the following in her baby book:
Baby's first trip alone with Mommy: To UPS Customer Center in NE Minneapolis. Grandpa left his VERY IMPORTANT laptop at our house yesterday...and instead of hopping in the car for a 10 hour round trip delivery, we drove to UPS and had it packaged and delivered to him. Abby slept. Momma - although unshowered, with ratty hair and still practically in her pajamas - beamed. Momma was very proud.
We have some visitors today, and I might even attempt to give Abby a bath before they arrive.  Or, I'll do the old sponge bath...and at least change her out of her spit-up covered pajamas she's been in all morning. (I don't wanna hear it - this kid hates being changed - diaper or otherwise - more than anything on the planet. You'd swear I told her Santa wasn't real and that her clean diaper was full of poison oak.)

Speak of the devil - someone needs to be changed. Cue the waterworks.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday night FAIL and irrational fears of baby vomit.

Well, last night the hubs and I attempted to sleep in the same room as the baby...all three of us together instead of the 4 hours shifts staying up with her that we'd done the previous two nights. (Worked awesome, BTW (we got 5-6 hours of sleep at a stretch) but not really an option once he goes back to work on Monday.)

We went to bed around 2ish. Abby was due for a feeding at 4:30.

Wait...let me pause here to also add this tidbit. Abby's butt was backed up for a good 36 hours, until last night when she had an awesome poop on her own. (Yep - I called poop awesome. I'm done for.) We were just about to use the ol' lubed up thermometer on her booty when she did it all by herself. I thought - yay! The path had been cleared, now back to regularly scheduled pooping. Not so much. She hasn't pooped since then, and she's CLEARLY trying to finagle some out of her little body but it's not working.

Back to the story at hand. We went to bed, and Abby WAS asleep...and then started grunting and fidgeting and doing all sorts of sounds and aerobic tricks to work her poop out (or so I assume). Did I sleep? Maybe...if dozing for 3 minutes and waking up to look at her is called sleeping. Finally at 4am I changed her diaper and fed her her bottle, and headed back to bed. She was SOUND asleep...and started up with it all over again. By 5:30 or so, the hubs woke up and asked if I'd slept. I gave it an honest "I don't know" and he got up with her to change her diaper again and get her settled in the living room so I could sleep. I kept insisting that she's trying to poop, he thinks she's just making typical baby noise. So, he took her in the living room and I cried. (Of course, I had also just had a brief dream that I "tried again" with a new Abby who's intestines worked correctly but ended up having weird deformed hands instead. That probably didn't help in the crying department.)

Today is a new day.

Also...Abby spit up for the first time last night. And I'm not ashamed to say it freaked me the fuck out. (Pardon my french...sailor's mouth is too easy when you're sleep deprived.) We had just fed her a GIGANTIC feeding which I know is to blame...we let her sleep too long and she was starving so my brilliance decided, YES! Let's give her nearly a whole ounce more than she usually eats!

Anyway, maybe it was the trick in getting her to finally poop on her own, because she did shortly after downing that bottle, but then promptly spit up after I had just changed her entire outfit since she'd peed on herself.  It was no biggie to me, until she did it again, but MUCH more. And then I got scurred.

I know it's just baby barf, and I didn't mind it for the most part, but I just have this thing with barf. I cannot watch another human being vomit. It makes me get shaky and I get nervous and scared of having to watch it again. It probably stems back to when my cousins and I got dropped off at the movie theater when we were young, and one of my cousins ate like 3,495,751 sour patch kids or something and didn't feel good. In my young, trying to be an adult mind, I thought - HERE! Put your head on my totally rad leather jacket with fringe I was given as a first communion gift! And then....BARF. All up in that fringe. I'm pretty sure I cried for days about that one. I took it to the bathroom and tried to clean it up, it was dry cleaned, but never was the same again.

Anywho, I was scared to feed her again. But she's eaten 3 bottles since sans spit up so that's good, but has added the "gagging face" to her repertoire of sleep faces that immediately makes me hide under her burp cloth.

And all that was just Tuesday.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The best and most horrifying day of my entire life.

Please note: what you are about to read is a birth story...of EPIC PROPORTIONS. 

(cue random Tenacious D music now.)

It will be graphic and I will leave nothing out. You've been warned.

This story picks up where this one left off. We arrived at the hospital around 1pm on Monday, where we got settled into our birth room, and I put on my fabulous hospital gown. I got checked in, and after 2 unsuccessful attempts at placing my IV (apparently high blood pressure makes your veins less than awesome), it was in, and I was started on saline. Josh's folks arrived around this time.

At 4pm, they started me on magnesium sulfate, which acts as an anti-seizure kind of medication used for pre-eclampsia. It's a smooth muscle relaxer, meaning it was going to make me feel like a lop. It also meant I might not contract well on my own since it was going to slow everything down. Around 4:30, they broke my water (which was an awkward sensation to say the least) and determined I was now about 6cms dilated on my own. In my mind, I'm PRAYING I don't have the baby in the next hour - I was convinced everything was moving so quickly (and painlessly) that my parents wouldn't make it in time. I had no idea how wrong I was.

I had a couple real contractions before the epidural arrived. They weren't spaced well, but I finally knew what a real contraction felt like. (Meaning - I hadn't actually had one yet. When they say "you'll know" they effing MEAN IT.) The anesthesiologist arrived and gave me my epidural. It kind of hurt, and he used about a hundred yards of tape to secure it to my back. Immediately I could tell that it wasn't working right. I had full sensation on my right side, and not much on my left. I was checked again - still 6cms, and the baby was in a bad position (I assume since I'd been laying on my left side for roughly a month) - so they had me roll onto my right side to move the baby, and maybe help activate the epidural on that side.  It sort of helped, and later they had me roll almost onto my stomach on my right side to help things along more. This seemed to get the epi working on both sides, so even though the anesthesiologist would come back later and check to see if I wanted it redone, instead of monkeying with it - I said to leave it. Bad idea.

Our differing views of labor.

My parents arrived not long after the epi was in place. I was so relieved. John the Midwife decided that I wasn't contracting well enough on my own to progress, so they started a slow drip of Petocin. (So, contracting agent AND muscle relaxer now pumping through my veins.) I was starting to fall asleep between contractions because of the mag sulfate. It was weird.

By 9pm, I was ready to push. Excellent - let's get this show on the road, shall we? So, I started pushing. I also issued a blanket apology to everyone in the room for the large amounts of profanity I would at some point be spewing forth.  I could feel all my contractions in my butt and was getting only a little pain relief. But I pushed. And pushed. AND PUSHED.

Around 11pm, I was so puffy from, well...everything and so out of it from the mag sulfate that my eyes were pretty well closed and not to be opened again. I just remember my eyelids feeling so heavy and thinking my eyes had swollen shut.  My mom was getting worried - I'd been pushing for 2 hours and there was no talk of any sort of assistance. Apparently around 11pm John the Midwife had to leave to deliver another baby down the hall, leaving his Student Midwife Julie to take over. I was so tired, and felt the worst pain, but kept pushing anyway. Luckily (or maybe unluckily?) my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart so I had some resting time between, but it was just drawing the process out further. Nurse Ratchet was now in the room, yelling at me to grab my legs and pull, but I was too tired and my hips kept cramping so NO I WILL NOT GRAB MY LEGS THIS POSITION IS JUST FINE. I made a comment around this time as well that wouldn't it be great if I could just have the baby right past midnight so that it's birthday would be on my grandmothers? Wouldn't that be great prolong this suffering at LEAST one more hour? I clearly was not in my right mind at this point.

At midnight, John the Midwife came back. My mother and my mother in law were giving him the evil eye for not helping. I was screaming bloody murder with every push now and could not see an end in sight. I just wanted this baby OUT. I didn't care how or why - just GET IT OUT NOW.  Deep down I didn't want to hear C-section, but I wanted to hear SOME kind of plan B, because seriously, I couldn't push anymore.

(I'm quite sure it was around this time that I yelled "I'M NEVER HAVING ANOTHER FUCKING BABY EVER AGAIN" as well as "GET IT OUT OF ME! FUCK!" and "I CAN'T PUSH ANYMORE IT HURTS TOO FUCKING BAD." Hey - don't look at me - I warned you I was going to swear. THAT'S why I apologized ahead of time.)

John the Midwife then gave me this - if within 5 pushes (which I later learned meant contractions) the baby wasn't out they would get the vacuum. THANK GOD. A PLAN! So I kept pushing. And I could feel the pushes where I pushed correctly. AND IT HURT. So John gave me some sort of a local numbing shot IN MY VAG. Yes, internets - I agreed to have a needle placed in my vagina to numb up the area because THAT sounded better than the pain I was feeling. I kept pushing, and knew I was doing it right, and let out a scream that would make a harpee jealous every single time. And I didn't care. I had to scream. Nurse Ratchet kept telling me to use the screaming energy for pushing and had I not been so knocked out I would have knocked her out. I was so tired and amped up that I started feeling like I was starting to black out every time I pushed. I felt like I couldn't breathe. John made me focus and said that the baby was RIGHT THERE just push again. He was stretching me the whole time to help make way. And then I did it. I decided I didn't care how much it hurt, I was going to push the baby out. And so I did.

At 12:49 am, on Tuesday October 27th - my late grandma Rita's birthday - Abigail Rita was born, weighing 6lbs 6ozs and 20 inches long. 

Turns out, she had her hand up next to her face the whole time, forcing me to force her and her stinking hand & elbow out WITH HER HEAD. And thus, a second degree tear. I didn't care. I was so happy to have her out that I nearly passed out from exhaustion and elation. Thanks to the Mag Sulfate, I totally missed her being born, my eyes were shut the whole time. She was a little out of it at birth as well, scoring only 6 on her initial APGAR, but quickly rebounded to a 9 on her second. 

And yes, I did tell John the Midwife and his trusty Student Midwife Julie to go ahead and sew up my vag completely while repairing my tear because I had no use for it anymore. Seriously. Why would I ever want to get pregnant again? It nearly KILLED ME.

I could hear everyone cooing and talking about how beautiful she was (and that sadly, she DID end up with my toes) and I couldn't get my crap together enough to realize they were talking about my daughter. The one I just gave birth to.

When they finally brought her over and laid her in my arms - I cried. I did it. I actually survived nearly FOUR HOURS of pushing, and 38 weeks of pregnancy...and I had a baby girl.  She was so awake and alert, and upon hearing my voice looked directly at me. It was the greatest moment of my life thus far.

A puffy, crying hot mess. Not the baby - me.

The next 24 hours I was still out of it from the mag sulfate. I held onto my little girl for a bit, but the hubs had to do a lot of work, including her first diaper change. Once they cut the dose in half, I felt MUCH better, and then when shut off completely Tuesday, I felt like a million bucks. Even with a pad the size of Texas between my legs.  I stayed in the hospital until Thursday morning so they could monitor my blood pressure, which is still a little high.

And I'm bringing this novel of a blog post to a close. The hubs just handed Abby over to me, and I can't do anything but stare at her, tears welling up in my eyes. Yeah, yeah, hormones. But my god, she is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Every moment of pain, frustration, and sickness of this pregnancy was worth it. You really don't ever know how much you can love someone until they're placed in your arms in the first moments of their own lives.

You know...that tear wasn't half bad, in retrospect.

I know, I know, I have yet to divulge the dirty deets of my labor.  I've started writing it a few times, and then get distracted. I'm going to try to do it tonight. The more I wait, the more I forget and blur what really happened. And it's important you know EVERYTHING that happened, internets.  It will explain why I (sort of) politely requested John the Midwife and his trusty student Midwife Julie to go ahead and sew up my vag completely while they were mending my tear, because I simply was never going to utilize that area of my body EVER AGAIN.

And speaking of pain, I'm in it. No, not your typical post delivery pains of the groinal region (those are getting better)...but that of engorged ta-tas. They hurt. A LOT.

I suppose at this point I should pause and reiterate that yes, I decided to formula feed. It was the greatest decision I've ever made, next to deciding to start a family.  The hubs has been able to be as involved as me in this whole process, which was super important since I was pretty much living on Mars for the first 18 hours after I had Abby - thanks to the drugs I was on.  He changed her first diaper, gave her her first bottle. After the pregnancy I had and the not so great labor, I couldn't IMAGINE trying to deal with breastfeeding right now. I've diverted from the topic at hand - my gigantic, hard boobs.

My milk came in yesterday. I naively thought I was in the clear, seeing as how it was Saturday and nothing had happened yet. Boy, was I wrong. This is only supposed to last a couple days, I think...but MY GOD. Ta-tas this huge and I can't even show them off. (They are firmly strapped down via sports bra that I didn't even remove to shower.)

So, yeah, in any case...I am still alive. Sleeping not much, but getting so much help (and love) from the hubs, my mother-in-law, my mother (who, even though can't be here this first week like we'd hoped - has been nothing but awesome as my "24 hour help line/psychiatric assistant") as well as our dads and countless friends and family. I'll get hormonal/drunken frat boy and say I LOVE YOU ALL. No, seriously dude. I LOVE YOU.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Your gift to Abby...

...if you would please...

They restarted the vote count...AGAIN! (If you're confused, see this post from a couple days ago) if you could again do me all a favor and click the hell outta the link on the right that says "We're Listed!" (or for you RSS readers, the banner at the bottom of each update) - that would be swell!

(We were doing so well - this blog was ranked 19th! And now...pffftt. So, if you could help out with a bunch of clicks on those, that'd be the greatest virtual gift to give to Abby!)

Thanks everyone!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Abigail Rita.

born october 27, 2009
6 pounds 6 ounces
20 inches long

she is beautiful.

more to come.

Monday, October 26, 2009

What's puffy and reflex-y and going to have a baby today?

That's right, your mom.

No wait...I mean, me.

The verdict is in: pregnancy-induced hypertension. My BP was elevated, gained 3lbs since Thursday and protein was in the pee again. And after feeling like ass yesterday, John the Midwife made the call - today is the day.

The hubs and I are at home, repacking our already packed hospital bags and getting ready to go to L&D. They're going to start by breaking my water - I'm at 5cms today,'s hoping I don't speed through this! My parents are getting their shit together and driving back in the next takes about 5 hours to get here. I just hope they're here in time!


I'll blog/tweet as I can. Follow me on twitter (link on the right in my blog) if you'd like to stay posted. :)

What the hell was THAT?

Posted at 12:44am - so when I say "tomorrow," that really means today. FYI. :)

As I was saying goodnight to the hubs and getting ready to settle in on the couch, I started getting a sensation something along the lines of "this kid finally punched through my cervix and I know if I check I'll have an arm hanging out of my vag." I'm not joking. I started panicing a little. Every movement the ninja made felt like things were just opening up for it to fall out.

Then I remembered that since my water still hasn't broken, that thankfully, that is not possible.

However, I am in full panic mode about WTF is going on down there. My pants-baby fears are not being quelled. I just spent the last 30 minutes googling "10 cms without pain" and "full dilation without warning." Luckily there wasn't much. But I'm still worried.

Huhhh, now the kid is awake and moving again. Sleep is not happening tonight. I just know it.

I have an "appointment" with John the Midwife tomorrow (appointment meaning I have to call and find out when to come in tomorrow morning) and part of me is wishing for induction or maybe "holy crap you're 8 cms dilated - to Labor & Delivery!" just because I can't imagine living with this baby-falling-out sensation for much longer.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I hate to ask this of you, dear readers...

But do you see that badge to the right? The one that says "We're Listed! Top Baby Blogs!"? It's also at the bottom of every RSS feed.

Well, they just restarted the count, so I need all the help I can get to go back to the number I was at before! I think I was around #56, which is awesome considering how many blogs are registered through the site.

Anyway - any clicks you'd like to give me would be greatly appreciated. There are a lot of other awesome blogs listed at this site as well that you should check out.

Thanks!!! You're all well as the bees knees.

(Obviously I still have an inside baby. I'm working on it. Trust me.)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dear Ninja: A Plea.

I'm just as appreciative of a good joke as the next girl, you know this. However, if these random contractions...these REAL contractions - don't amount to REAL LABOR soon, we're going to have a long talk about how rude it is to lead someone on.

I had the most painful one so far this morning, around 5:30am. It woke me up. I thought maybe it was just the evil combo of a braxton hicks along with a full bladder. However, after peeing, it was obvious it was much much more.

I've since had maybe 3 other contractions this morning that made me pause for a moment and made me unable to think of anything else. Of course, there's no rhyme or reason to these contractions, and they're lasting between 2-4 minutes a piece, with as much as FIVE HOURS apart.

My parental units will be here in about 5-6 hours.

I will say, if this DOES turn into labor this weekend, the Ninja will get a gold star for timing. Having my mom AND dad here for the big event would be more than I could ever hope for.

I'll attempt to not get my hopes up.

Also, it's snowing like a mo-fo right now.

Oh - and John the midwife called last night and said my bloodwork looked okay, so if nothing happens this weekend, I'll be seeing him on Monday.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Add it to the list.

  1. Braxton Hicks starting around 16 weeks
  2. Gallbladder inflammation/attacks
  3. Rh negative
  4. Tested positive for preterm labor
  5. Dilated to 3-5cms before 37 weeks
  6. Bedrest
And now? Protein in the pee. Which is a cause for concern...that is a sign of pre-eclampsia.  It's slightly surprising since my blood pressure is usually pretty decent, but I did have a day of a headache that wouldn't quit and some floaters in my vision yesterday. John the Midwife checked my reflexes and nearly got kicked in the face. I'm still not quite sure what that was for, but I did also mention the swelling I've noticed in the past couple of days, and the dent in my left shin from crossing my legs for 20 minutes the other day. My blood pressure was a little higher today (for me) but within normal range. He wasn't too concerned about my weight gain - up 2lbs from last week (good GOD I'm 166lbs)...but did a blood draw for more info about the protein issue. John mentioned if the protein IS an issue, that they'd more than likely induce me.

Yep, the "i" word.

It makes me laugh; who in God's name ever thought that someone who is 4-5 cms dilated would ever NEED to be induced, but apparently it happens. And yes...I'm still at 4-5cms.

I'm supposed to go in again on Monday for another check. My parents will be here tomorrow evening until Sunday - something tells me I'll make it through the weekend, only to go in on Monday and have to go in for an induction the next day.  Then my parents can just turn around and come back. :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

37 weeks.

How far along? 37 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +30 lbs. (The hubs informed me at my last appointment that I now weigh more than him. Thanks, dear.)
Maternity clothes? I'm wearing stretch pants. And I love it.

Stretch marks? This has been a sad week. I now have one gigantic stretchie above my belly button. My body as far as I'm concerned is now a total loss.

Sleep: Past couple of nights have been okay - falling asleep quickly and sleeping more on my back.

Best moment this week: Knowing we are totally set for this kid.

Movement: Yep. Got a huge kick while trying to pee earlier. Thought it was my water breaking. The kid's already a prankster.

Food cravings: Back to craving avocado rolls & white wine.

Gender: Now that the girl name is settled, I'm totally convinced it's a girl.

Labor Signs: None. My back hurts, but I think it's because my body is disagreeing with all the laying I'm doing.

Belly Button in or out? Ugh.

What I miss: Being comfortable.

What I am looking forward to: Getting this baby out!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Candy corn is good.

Milestones: We are officially full term. GET THE HINT, NINJA!

The Fruit: 37 weeks - Delivery

At week 37, your pregnancy is considered full term, meaning baby is likely to thrive after birth. Baby spends these last weeks in preparation for the outside world… meaning careful refinement of the blink, suck, inhale and exhale. Meconium, which you’ll probably find in the first diaper, is accumulating in the intestines. If (okay, as) you worry about giving birth, consider what it’s like for the little one. During the journey out of your womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Two things happened last night that I can barely explain, but make me so happy.

1.) Apparently, I didn't snore at all last night. YESS. Josh attributes it to the baby dropping, I'll take whatever reason. (More importantly, I  spent the whole night sleeping in our bed. AWESOME.) Which brings me to number two...

2.) I slept on my back more than any other position last night. AND IT WAS COMFORTABLE. Where did this come from? My back is a little sore today, but what the hell?

I'm hoping they both continue. Maybe my body has just given up fighting this pregnancy and is just allowing anything to happen. FINE. I'LL TAKE IT.

Also - we shook on a girl's name last night, which means the naming drama is now OVER. We have a boy's and girl's name. And you're all still going to have to wait until the baby's here to find out what it is. Car seat was installed on Saturday (and was WAY easier than I thought it would be), and the remainder of the baby clothes have been washed. I'm making one final trip to Babies R Us today for misc. last minute things I probably don't need...but want anyway before the baby is here.

Do you hear that, Ninja? We're FINALLY ready. Ready when you are. parents will be here this weekend - Friday sounds like a good day to make an appearance - no? WORK ON IT.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Yay and YAY!

Two things:

One, the car seat DID come yesterday! Now, to try to figure out how to install the damn thing. The instructions are VERY intimidating. I've heard YouTube has a plethora of vids on how to install. I'll be checking those later. But I lerve it and I'm so glad I went ahead and had it shipped to me instead of just picking a different pattern.

And second - one of my friends from back in the day/my hometown had her baby last night (on her due date, no less)! She too was on the "wait and see" plan for the gender, and she had a boy! (Just like everyone predicted at my shower back in June.) For the record, a girl was predicted for me by the same ladies.  We'll see if I'm friends with psychics soon enough.

Friday, October 16, 2009

This labor thing is pretty easy.*

*NOTE TO LABOR GODS - I'M TOTALLY JOKING. No need to show me what's really up for a week at least.

Saw John the Midwife today - this week's state of the uterus:

Mucus Plug - Still gone.
Dilated - 4-5cm!!
Effaced - 80% (same)
Bedrest - Still till the end, unless I want to be in pelvis splitting pain.
Measuring - Around 35 weeks - only because I've dropped.
Baby is at 0 station, which is lower than last week's -3.

Essentially, between the baby being so low, my dilation and effacement - I'm halfway done with labor. The only pain I've experienced is my gallbladder (now known as Vincent) and the cervix clawing. (Some of my ladies think the ninja is just hanging on for dear life - I concur!) I've had a few contractions with some cramping in the last week - but nothing to write home about. So, HOLY CRAP. It's so close now I can nearly taste it. Now if the UPS man would just get here with our car seat...we'll be ready to rock and roll.

The hubs and I went out for lunch after my appointment today and then to Best Buy, a rug store and Target. We FINALLY got a rug for the baby's room, and also found a new one for the living room...which of course required us to buy new throw pillows at Target for the couches to tie it all together. (And I had to pick up some long sleeve onesies for the ninja to wear underneath all the short sleeve ones I ended up with. It IS fall. :)

At any rate, after having a hand shoved up my babymaker and all the walking/standing today...I'm beat. Especially since I only had about 3 hours of sleep last night, thanks to cervix punches and Vincent the gallbladder being a douche. The hubs is having a night out (well deserved) with his phone well within reach. I'm a little ascurred of something happening tonight considering the events of the day, but hopefully the ninja will at least make it through the weekend. My parents are planning on being here next weekend...or sooner if need be.

I just can't believe I'm already this dilated...and not in the hospital choking a nurse because my epidural isn't here yet. Certainly gives new meaning to the phrase "Everyone's different!"

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

36 weeks.

How far along? 36 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +29 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Oui oui. These sweatpants are becoming a part of me. As is the couch.

Stretch marks? I'm tired of thinking about them. Not this week.

Sleep: I have good nights and bad. Last night was bad.

Best moment this week: My shower! So fun - I love my friends. And getting all the essentials for the munchkin.

Movement: Still practicing ninja rolls.

Food cravings: A magic coke from McDonalds!

Gender: Still no idea.

Labor Signs: Contractions are changing slightly, getting more crampy...but not every contraction is like that. This is a long and weird process.

Belly Button in or out? It's just gross.

What I miss: Being able to be on my feet without feeling like I'm about to drop a bowling ball between my legs.

What I am looking forward to: My appointment Friday...and just making it another week!

Weekly Wisdom: It's never to early to be 100% prepared.

Milestones: The baby's room is nearly 100% complete!

Oh well, I tried!

The finalists were revealed for the Best Pregnancy Blog award, and alas, I was not included.

But I encourage you to vote for your favs - Blair and The 818 are both good e-friends, so I encourage you to vote for one of them!

Vote for Mommy Blog Awards here.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Baby shower madness!

Ha - not really. I did have my baby shower second one...and last one before baby arrives. It was so nice to get cleaned up, put in contacts, wear jeans and makeup and get out of the house!  It was super fun, and so nice to see my girls. I feel like a friendless shut-in anymore, so talking to my friends face to face was awesome. I got lots of beautiful gifts and I'm feeling more prepared for a baby now  than ever.

The hubs and his mom went to Babies R Us after the shower to buy the essential things we still hadn't received...and boy was it spendy. Of course, the car seat I wanted wasn't available at the store they went to, and the other store in the metro was out as well, so I ordered it via their website. It's supposed to be here any time between Thursday and next Monday.  I'm hoping it gets here before the baby does! We're ready in nearly every other aspect!!

The nursery is SO CLOSE to being ready to show off. I have a little bit more cleaning up to do, but I got some pictures hung, the mattress is in the crib, as is the now clean bedding...changing pad in place...all that's really left is the shelves, which were a staining FAIL this weekend. I'll try to take some pics in the next few days.

I'm putting my money on this happening sometime next week...maybe like a week from Friday. So weird to think we'll have a baby in our house! Honestly though, I feel so much more ready just knowing we at least have the bare minimum of what we'll need to get by. At least, I think we do!

And I think we've settled on a girls name too. We'll see about that. The boy name has still stuck. I'm just waiting for the hubs to change his mind on the girl name. :)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Saturday morning randoms.

Let me start this post out by saying I woke up to a decent dusting of snow this morning. Mind you - I woke up at 10am and it was still on the ground. Now it's 10:40 - temp check? 28 degrees. Windchill of 17 degrees. ON OCTOBER 10TH. Granted I am on bedrest and don't really need to leave the house, but I never did find a coat to fit me. None of Josh's fit either. So, I'll be sporting the unbuttonable coat tomorrow at my shower...hopefully it warms up next week a little more so I'm not totally screwed. :)

As far as Labor Watch 2009 goes - I've had some changes in contractions - I've been getting some cramping in my lower abdomen now with the braxton hicks, which makes me think they're getting a little more serious. Nothing I can't deal with - they still don't really hurt...just uncomfy. C'mon little ninja - I just want to make it through this weekend!

I've got my hospital bag about 70% packed...just missing a few small, less essential items. And I actually washed baby blankets the other day, and a going home outfit! (Don't be fooled, there's still about 7 billion things left on my list of things I wanted to get done before the baby is here. And about 3 weeks less time to do it in!)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Weekly cervix status.

Here's the stats:

Mucus Plug - gone. (Sorry, no photos to post. You're all bummed, I know it.)
Dilated - 3cm (no change)
Effaced - 80% (thinner than last week)
Bedrest - till the end (which he assumes will be anytime between now and 2 weeks from now)
Measuring - AHEAD! more like 37 weeks.

Midwife John says he thinks my labor signs will go something like they always tell you it won't go - a big gush of water. He thinks since I've been having contrax for so long I can't rely on them as a sure sign of labor, and that since I'm dilated already, his educated guess is I'll experience the gigantic gush of my water breaking. (EEEE!)

Obviously it could go the other way too, but he said I'm in the home stretch, pretty much. November isn't even in the picture anymore. October is a good month to have a baby I guess. :)

I went to Target after my appointment to get some stuff for the hospital bag...and I'm paying the price now. Well, and from the internal too, I'm sure. My pelvis is on the verge of shattering. Awesomesauce.

So, that's it for now!  My shower is on Sunday, which my great friends are throwing for me, and after that shower, the hubs is planning on heading to Babies R Us to buy any necessities that we don't have so we can be totally prepared at any point for this munchkin to come! Midwife John says that I'll more than likely be bringing this baby home right away after I have it, so we need to be prepared!

And don't forget to wager a guess in the baby pool if you haven't already...or maybe change your guess if you've already made one!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

35 weeks.

How far along? 35 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +29 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Indeed. I was reduced to wearing the hubs' track pants and teeshirts over the past couple of days due to a ton of dirty laundry.

Stretch marks? I'm waiting for my stomach to erupt. It's still pristine. My thighs though. MY GOD.

Sleep: I'm sleeping well. The hubs? Not so much. I've turned into a snorer. Thirty extra pounds will do that to a girl. I HATE that I snore. I might be on the couch until this munchkin is here.

Best moment this week: NOT having an outside baby, yet.

Movement: Yep. The babe really responds when the hubs talks to it. So cute.

Food cravings: A magic coke from McDonalds and chocolate cake...again.

Gender: No idea. I'm at a loss again.

Labor Signs: Yeah,  unfortch. Bedrest and hopefully still at 3cm.

Belly Button in or out? Staying flat for the time being.

What I miss: Being able to enjoy pregnancy, and not being dilated.

What I am looking forward to: My appointment on Thursday. I want news that nothing has changed.


Milestones: I guess being dilated is a milestone. Not one I wanted this early.

For the strong, here's a bare belly pic. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

How YOU doin?

Me? I'm okay. Had kind of a rough night of crampiness at 4am and mild anxiety due to said cramps. I'm already at wit's end with not knowing what's going on...whether any given cramps or pains might actually be labor or my body just being a jerk. I took a bath a little over an hour ago to ease the cramps, which helped...but now I'm back to being uncomfortable. While in the bath I started to get mad and upset about this whole situation. I'm upset with my body for not allowing me to enjoy what should be the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I'm mad that I've had to deal with contractions for nearly 4 months. I'm pissed that this bedrest is technically taking time away from my maternity leave after the baby is here. Having to worry about everything is what makes me most upset. I know that being calm and relaxed helps me to not have contractions and whatnot, but how can I be relaxed when I know what could be happening inside me?


Alright, time to get back to watching the Twins game I was supposed to be at with the hubs. He's there with one of his friends, which I insisted he do...because ONE of us should at least be there. (I will say, laying on the couch IS more comfy than the crappy plastic seats at the Dome, but my heart is breaking. Didn't know I was such a baseball fan, did you?)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Oooooo, you are SO GROUNDED.

I'm writing this post from my hospital bed, hoping for word that I'll be sent home this afternoon, maybe.

Long story short -

Yesterday I went to my appointment and received my weekly internal...and for the first time - was dilated. The MW I saw figured me to be a "stretchy 4cm" and off to Labor & Delivery I went.

They strapped me to a monitor and IV and I had to stay the night. The hubs was with me the whole time...even went home to get the laptop, camera (just in case) and a few other items.And slept in the poorest excuse for a bed I've ever seen. (Not that mine was any better!)

I was rechecked this morning. It was the most PAINFUL internal I've ever had (did he have the Freddy Krueger glove on or something?) but he determined I'm really more like 3cm, but no change really since the night before.

John the midwife seems to think that I should be able to go home this afternoon (although original plan was another night of observations). I told him that in all honesty, I felt no different prior to this appointment...and I had been SUPER active this past week, what with the hubs being laid up and all. He knows that I know my body, and when the contractions start being more real and less like they have been the past nearly 20 weeks. We live a mere 10 minutes from the hospital, so if labor truly begins, we're not that far away.

I am so glad I do not have an outside baby yet. I never lost my shit last night, but while sitting in the tub trying to relax while the hubs was getting some things from home...I suddenly felt like a 15 year old - wondering how I thought I was ready for this, that this couldn't be happening...what had I gotten myself into. But I pulled myself together and reminded myself that this wasn't happening yet. And it isn't...THANK GOD.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Odds and ends.

This is going to be a post of randoms, because I can't conjure up anything to make a cohesive post. ADD, party of one.
  • My pelvis is going to break in two. This just started being yet another awesome 3rd Trimester feeling on Monday. I can only assume it's because I chose to take the train for the first time in a few weeks, and since it was 5 o'clock, no one felt the need to get off their lazy ass and offer an 8 months pregnant lady their seat. I then thought it'd be a good idea to stand in the kitchen and make chicken cacciatore. Then my pelvis split in half. And has been ever since. (Not familiar with the pain? You know the horrid pain of a groin pull? It's that. But ALL THE TIME. Awesome, right?)
  • I got my first prenatal massage over the weekend. It was HEAVENLY. It also went by too quickly. They have this pregnancy pillow that allows the belleh to be cushioned and supported while I get to LAY ON MY STOMACH. It was the best feeling ever. Like, almost enough where I want to go out and buy my own...even if I only use it for 4 more weeks because the sensation of not having any weight on my back was EPIC.
  • The hubs is still on the mend. We spent a good portion of the pre-daylight hours in the ER on Saturday morning since his kidney doc - let's refer to him as Dr. Douchebag - refused to give him enough paid meds to last the weekend. I have never seen my husband in that amount of pain EVER...and I hope to never see it again. But, the docs and nurses at the hospital (the one I'll be delivering at) were the bees knees and did everything they could to make him free of pain and determine why he was in so much pain. They'd accomplished in a little over 5 hours more than Dr. Douchebag had done in a week. Anyway - the hubs is slowly getting better and his spirits are better too, which is most important! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dear!
  • The cat has found his way into the crib. This is something I'm not pleased with, but mostly need to blame myself for. My crowning achievement of assembling the IKEA shelves for the baby's room has resulted in our jerky cat Boo-boo now having a launching pad into the crib...where before he couldn't haul his fat ass over the railing. So, I must move the shelves away from the crib, which makes me sad because I LIKE where they are now and don't WANNA put them on the other wall. I'm considering buying balloons and attempting the "balloon + cat claws = scurred cat" trick to see if that helps. 
So that's your midweek update. :) Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

34 weeks.

How far along? 34 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +27 lbs. (I was off last week - finally asked a nurse at the clinic and OFFICIALLY I'm up 27 lbs.)
Maternity clothes? Yes. And this morning, when it was 42 degrees, I dealt with wearing a thin cardigan and a scarf.

Stretch marks? I don't want to talk about it.

Sleep: The past week has been a nightmare with the hubs kidney ailment, but it's getting better again. Although I was up 3 times to pee.

Best moment this week: Getting the blinds up in the nursery and finally assembling the shelves I bought at IKEA.

Movement: Lots of squirms and rolls.

Food cravings: This week I would REALLY love a sausage biscuit from McDonalds. It's got something like 65% of your daily total of saturated fat in it though. My gallbladder says NO.

Gender: Who knows. I'm still more interested in seeing what this kid looks like!

Labor Signs: Not really anything new.

Belly Button in or out? Starting to somehow get a little bit of an outtie.

What I miss: Not feeling like my pelvis is going to rip apart when I sit or walk.

What I am looking forward to: Still looking forward to the hubs feeling 100% better. He's getting there. Slowly.

Weekly Wisdom: This morning I officially declared in my head that I missed the second trimester. SAVOR IT. LOVE IT.

Milestones: Apparently this kid weighs 5 lbs now. Maybe that's why my crotch is going to break wide open any minute now?