you + me + babybee

You will be redirected to the new blog...

2010-02-08T22:34:00.001-06:00

...in 3...2...1...

Last Call.

2010-02-08T10:37:00.000-06:00

I'll be pulling this blog down and auto-redirecting to my new blog around 11pm CST TONIGHT!

That means if you're following this blog or subscribe to it via RSS, you need to update STAT!

Please FOLLOW and SUBSCRIBE to the other blog so you don't miss a thing!

You'll find all my new posts (plus all OLD ones) at my other blog - Blogged Bliss.

This blog will explode in t-minus...

2010-02-03T10:05:00.000-06:00

...two days.

I'm growing tired of double posting. So...as of THIS FRIDAY (2/5/10) I will no longer be updating this blog.

You'll find all my new posts (plus all OLD ones) at my other blog - Blogged Bliss.

After that point, I'm hoping to have this blog just redirect to the new one.

BUT - you really should FOLLOW and SUBSCRIBE to the other blog so you don't miss a thing!

KTHX!

Today is the beginning of the end...

2010-02-01T13:33:00.002-06:00

...of my maternity leave.

Tomorrow, I go back to work.

Abby has been extra smiley today, which helps and hurts at the same time. She even gave me her first REAL GIGGLE! I tried so hard to get her to do it again but no. She's also mastering squishing things between her fists to "pick them up."

How do I feel about going back to the land of adult conversation? I'm actually really excited to go back. I can't wait to get my mushy brain back to working order, to wear real clothes and makeup everyday. To eat and pee and use a computer* without interruption.

But not being able to pick up and snuggle my little girl whenever I want breaks my heart. I know she's going to start doing a lot more in the coming weeks and I can't even think about missing her firsts.

Josh and I are in a position with his job where, if I REALLY REALLY wanted to, I could stay home. But when it really comes down to it...I don't want to. I like my job. I like my career. I like making my own money. I am so thankful that between my job and Josh's, we really only need 3 days of childcare, and his parents are able to take care of her for those three days. It's a really hard decision, but I know it's the best.

Next up - the gallbladder. The u/s came back normal, lab tests normal. Next the doc wants me to do what's called a HIDA scan to see if maybe my gallbladder just isn't working. Needless to say, Vincent isn't coming out any time soon.

And the hair loss. I'm going to take a few deep breaths and write the current hair loss up to post-pregnancy hormones, but if I am still losing this much in a couple months (if there's anything left to lose by then) I'm going to talk to my doc. I guess the time between 3-4 months PP results in the most hair loss. Until then I will gulp back the tears as I clear out my tub drain.

*This post was interrupted by a whiny baby who apparently needed a burp, because she spit up all over herself and her bouncy chair. Cleanup of both baby and chair was followed by an awesome Abby nap in the glider. Messy dining room and dirty dishes can wait when Abby falls asleep on Momma. Especially on her last day before going...back...to...work.....WAH!

The Completed Nursery

2010-01-29T12:35:00.001-06:00

Since my new blog has more room for pictures - I suggest you view this post over at the new home of my blog -

The Completed Nursery @ blogged bliss.

And while you're there, bookmark, follow and subscribe! Oh, and vote. Don't forget this blog is going bye-bye in 2 weeks. :)

Oh dear.

2010-01-29T09:17:00.001-06:00

Uhm, so I had no idea hair loss was a side effect of the Mirena IUD.

I didn't know until I read one of my favorite bloggers most recent posts.

And then I found this site.

Pardon my french but I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

This HAS to be from the IUD. I am honestly pulling a golfball size clump of hair out of the drain every day. My hair is one of the few things I really REALLY like about myself and now it's going away.

Points to be made:

This thing was expensive to have placed and I've only had it for 2 months. Should I give it more time? Probably. That's more than likely what my midwife would say.
Let's say I get it pulled. Yaz/Yazmin is out - caused depression. NFP/Charting/condoms are a pain in the rear and SCARE THE BEJEEZUS out of me. What then? A different pill? I suppose.

Hokay, that's all for now. I just had to post this because omgwhatamIgoingtodo?!?!

Someone have the phone number for Hair Club for Men?

2010-01-28T09:13:00.000-06:00

No, seriously.

I cannot even believe how much hair I am losing. I read that this would happen. I also read that my hair would get thicker with pregnancy. IT DIDN'T.

I really shouldn't complain, my hair has always been pretty thick. I would always lose a bit every day in the shower, but I'm pulling out handfuls now. There are enough tresses in my drain catch to give Barbie a hair transplant. But what can I do? A big fat NOTHING.

Thankfully, even though showering feels like a scene in a horror movie, I'm not really noticing my hair being thinner. Yet. (And by typing said words, I probably just cursed myself.)

In other news, I had my abdomen ultrasound-ed yesterday. It was really weird. I mean, I was watching the tech show me all my organs on the screen and kept thinking that it was only like, 10 months ago that I saw my little girl on the screen for the first time. I was waiting for him to find my liver and say "and there's the baby!" or something like that. ::shudder:: If I heard those words again so soon...gah. Speaking of horror movies...

Anyway - no word yet from the doctor. If I was a betting lady (which I am) I would say there were no stones in that ultrasound. Just a big ol' empty gallbladder. I wish the doc would just call me so I can find out.

Four more days until I go back to work...

3 months.

2010-01-27T20:35:00.001-06:00

My sweet, spitty baby.

You're three months old today. We celebrated by going to Babies R Us and buying you a few new toys, and by redoing my blog while you helped by sleeping. It was a fun day for sure.

You've already grown out of half of your 3 month sleepers, and have officially graduated to the level 2 nipples offered by Dr. Brown. (Pretty awesome, huh?)

I'm sad to say that the three month anniversary of your birth also means that momma's going back to work. Grandpa Mike had a couple trial Abbycare days in preparation the past few days. While I fully trust both him and Grandma Chris, I will more than likely cry every day that I leave you. In fact, today you cried while we were at the store, simply because you couldn't see me. And I nearly cried when I realized what that meant.

So, another month under the belt. Another month wiser, for both of us.

Love you much,

Momma.

I'm making the move.

2010-01-27T13:11:00.000-06:00

...back to my old blog space.

Some of you may be familiar with it. I had a blog prior to this one called Blogged Bliss. Once I found I was pregnant (or trying to be) I started this blog so I could keep it a secret from all friends and family. But, now that the secret's out, I'd kind of like to go back home, so to speak.

I IMPLORE you to join me again - only this time at Blogged Bliss. All of my blog posts here have been moved so you won't be missing a thing! If anything, you get to read my posts PRE baby, including the insanity of getting married and buying our first house. And, if I do say so myself, I kind of think it's prettier. (Although still a work in progress.)

This blog will exist until Valentine's Day. Then all new posts will be found over at Blogged Bliss.

Thank you loyal readers! Follow! Subscribe! Vote! Pants on the ground!

I'm getting an ultrasound tomorrow.

2010-01-26T14:39:00.000-06:00

No, dear internets, I am not knocked up again, THANK YOU BABY JESUS.

Lately, the dreaded avocado episodes are back. Indeed they were triggered by guacamole consumption (so sue me) and now the old gallbladder is just acting like a bitch again and hurting me all the time.

I was almost fully convinced I wasn't going to need any treatment for it after I had Abby because it seemed I could eat anything and everything I hadn't been able to while it was acting up. But I hadn't attempted the dreaded avocado. And then I did and then my gallbladder (AKA Vincent*) was all "OH NO YOU DI'ENT" and then I nearly died from pain.

So, I saw a loverly doctor today who scheduled me for an ultrasound of my jerky abdomen tomorrow morning at 8am (8 hours of no food beforehand?! They'd better start that thing at 8am ON THE DOT) to see if I've got some stones hanging out in there. I'm almost hoping there are, because the simple solution to relieve me of my pain is to yank the sucker out. She'd like to do it this week, if possible.

At first I panicked at the prospect of more time in the hospital, but in reality, as long as I don't have to vaginally deliver my gallbladder I'm pretty sure this will be a walk in the park.

In other news, Abby will be 3 months old tomorrow and DEAR GOD I GO BACK TO WORK IN A WEEK. Unless they pull out Vincent. Then it might be a little longer before work.

So, until I post a tear jerker post about how my child is practically already a grown up, I bid you adieu.

*A note about my gallbladder being named Vincent. My dear e-friend Poeia helped me name it. Vincent seemed the best since it makes me think of Vincent Price and I can only imagine my gallbladder being devious and having an awesome pencil-thin mustache.

Hungry baby = fast post.

2010-01-19T11:03:00.001-06:00

Hello internets.

Again, routine in the Abby house = not much excitement. However, MY MOTHER is coming to stay with us! Her flight gets in at 5-ish today, and she's staying through the weekend (my dad is driving up on Friday). The hubs and I keep saying "they're going to shit when they see how much she's changed." Like, at least once a day we say that. It's getting ridiculous, but it's so true.

Anyway, Abby and I will be at the airport to pick her up, and I'm hoping she blesses my mom with a big gummy smile. They're still few and far between so when they happen it's pretty monumental.

Other than that, I go back to work TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY. I am both excited and totally dreading that day at once.

Sorry there's nothing funny to report with this post. Except maybe the fact that I smell like cat butt. Did I mention I didn't shower yesterday? Because I didn't.

And...Abby just filled her diapers. The sheer force of her pushing out the poo made the pacifier in her mouth shoot across the room. THERE'S your excitement, internets. Enjoy.

This post is mostly for my mom...

2010-01-13T11:12:00.001-06:00

...because she was getting sick of the guidos fist pumping every time she checked my blog. Now you get to see a post addressed to you! And now everyone knows you're not amused by The Situation. I'll post your phone number for disagreeing fans later.

Not much is going on in the land of Abby and her unshowered mother. Routine is setting in, and so when I do things like wash dishes twice a day, do laundry and pick up the house while watching Bonnie Hunt and What Not to Wear...there really isn't much worth blogging about.

It DOES sadden me that routine is finally settling in, and I'm going back to work in less than three weeks. I'm going to try to make the best of the rest of my time and make Abby learn as many tricks as possible so I don't miss anything. She did give me a BIG smile yesterday morning when I went to her crib to get her up for the day. We're still working on smiles. I think she's just a little shy. Other than that, she's lifting her legs up in the air all the time now, so we're getting some assistance during diaper changes.

Hmmm...what else? I think that's about it for now. I apologize for my lack of anything. I'm spending most of my time manning the Save Conan fanpage on Facebook. (I'm so crabby with NBC that I could spit.) Wanna become a fan? Click here.

Let me pause for a moment to say...

2010-01-08T10:45:00.001-06:00

I LOVE JERSEY SHORE.

That is all.

No no no no no no no. DO IT.

2010-01-06T18:23:00.000-06:00

Make one.

The 2 month check and a new skill.

2010-01-06T11:47:00.001-06:00

Yesterday Abby had her 2 month checkup appointment, complete with shots.

Her new stats are 11 lbs 3ozs, and 24 inches tall. That's TWO FEET TALL, people. Where does she get her towering height from? Certainly not her parents. Maybe my dad's genes skipped a generation and she'll be 6'2".

Her shots went as well as could be expected. I felt horrible hearing her scream only to know she had 2 more to endure. But she survived, and so did I. And then she slept ALL DAY. Thus...last night didn't go so well. She didn't want to go to bed, and when she fell asleep she woke up at midnight, 4am, 6:30am, and that was that. We were up for the day. So now I'm doing my best to try to keep her stimulated and entertained so she sleeps tonight. Momma's tired.

In my attempts to keep her awake - she's learned a new trick.

She figured out how to bring the rattle up to her mouth AND CHEW ON IT. ISN'T THAT EFFING AWESOME?! This kid - she's got talent.

Hangovers and hepatitis shots.

2010-01-04T17:33:00.001-06:00

Well, I survived NYE...barely. I drank as if I hadn't stopped drinking for 10 months. MISTAKE. Also...having champagne be a large portion of my bevvy consumption was a mistake. And maybe that shot of tequila was a mistake too.

despite the face I'm making it was quite delish.

the midnight mooch

...and then this happened.

I woke up on Friday morning with the WORST HEADACHE EVER and heard the hubs reaching for something in a pill bottle. I shoved my hand in his face while managing the words "GIVE ME SOME." I got Tylenol (what was left of the pregnancy stash) because we were out of Advil. Yet another sign of my lack of drinking. Christ, he could have given me his man vitamins and I would have been okay with it as long as I was taking SOMETHING.

I woke up a couple hours later headache free, but with the spins. We showered and headed to breakfast with friends where I nearly vomited about three times. I ordered toast and a fruit cup, managed to finish nearly all of it and felt a little better. We then went to pick up Abby from the Grandparents and headed home for some good couch napping. Ahhh...New Years.

Anyway, my baby girl has her two month appointment tomorrow, complete with her first round of post delivery room vaccinations. ::insert scurred momma here:: I'm probably going to cry on the car ride home. That is, if they give her any shots at all. She's been a little booger-y and cough-y for the past 12 hours. I'm hoping it's just a fluke, but if she really IS sick, she might be skipping the shots this time around.

And today, I took this video. Pardon my squeaky voice. The hubs insists I should do voices in cartoons. I give a stern side-eye as a response to that comment.

Asking for a smile... from jenna bee on Vimeo.

Oh, and one last thing.

2009-12-31T14:06:00.001-06:00

Pretty pretty please give a few clicks to the icons on the right, and also at the bottom of this post.

I'm a competitive gal. Your vote means a lot!!

It's been real, 2009.

2009-12-31T11:29:00.001-06:00

So...we've come to the infamous blog post on New Year's Eve where bloggers 'round the world spout off resolutions everyone knows they won't keep and wrap up the year. (I find it hilarious that I only blogged more because I got pregnant, and did not lose 10 pounds but instead gained 40 and then lost 30...so essentially I GAINED 10lbs. Awesome.)

Mine shall be no different.

If ever there was a year that was a rollercoaster of emotions, it was this one. The nerd in me wanted to make a line chart of my ups and downs, but that seems a little excessive.

I ended 2008 by driving to Lutsen, MN in THE WORST BLIZZARD EVAR and then skied my way into 2009. I took a girls trip to Vegas where I crippled myself in my last attempt at heels. I went to Mexico with the hubs and my parents, where I peed on a stick and found out my life was never to be the same. Not long after that, my beloved Grandmother Gabba took a turn for the worse, and in April, she passed away. I said goodbye to a friend far, far too early. Over the summer, I bitched and moaned about being pregnant with Abby, who kicked my ass internally. I had a baby shower, and had to put my darling kitty Miles to sleep. I attempted a weekend in the north woods at 28 weeks pregnant. I turned 29, had about a million labor scares, had another baby shower, gave birth 2 weeks early to my precious daughter, born on her late Great Grandmother Gabba's birthday. And for the past 2 months I have watched her grow to be the best baby a mother could ask for.

If ever there was a year of growing up, this was it. I can safely say that I am not the same person I was on that chair lift in Lutsen a year ago. I am so much different. I know what it's like to lose a part of your heart by losing a loved one. I also know that there is no love like the one you can have for your own child. My mother has become more of a best friend than I ever imagined, and more important to me now that I know what she went through for me. (Read: LABOR.)

I'm not totally ready to file this year away. Parts of it I'm more than happy to try to forget, but others I feel like I never should forget. However, in a little more than 12 hours, 2010 will be here whether I like it or not.

I AM excited to see what 2010 has to offer. It's no longer about me, but all about Abby. I do turn 30 next year, so that sucks, but unlike this year, I'm looking forward to closing the door on my 20s. But that's another post for another day. (Another day, in September. Start thinking of appropriate birthday gifts NOW, people.)

My resolutions? Fast and furious - Try to be healthy and be the best momma I can be. I'm pretty sure those aren't too lofty.

So, that's a wrap. We'll see you in 2010, ladies and germs.

2 months.

2009-12-28T21:21:00.001-06:00

My dearest Abigail,

Yesterday you turned two months old. On Christmas day, we dropped you off at the Grandparents house for the evening so we could have a party with all of our friends. Occasionally I'd look around our house wondering who was holding you, only to remember you were safe and soundly sleeping in a house a few miles away. When your father and I finally called it a night, we both agreed that we barely could stand that you weren't here.

Saturday night, like I figured, you didn't sleep through the night like you normally do. I got up around 3:30 when your fussing became too much and groggily fed you your bottle. That's when I realized as much as I thought I'd hate not getting enough sleep and being woken up in the middle of the night...I absolutely love it. In fact, I prefer it. Staring at your beautiful face with only the orange glow of the light in your room is all I need to survive.

Love you much,

Mommy.

A snowstorm and a holiday.

2009-12-23T10:07:00.002-06:00

Santa is coming tomorrow. As is a huge snowstorm.
So I may be absent for a while.

Or...if I'm snowbound, there may be a ridiculous number of posts.

Only time will tell.

In the meantime, happy holidays.

You're all screwed.

2009-12-22T11:26:00.000-06:00

Momma got a new camera.

Abby's not amused.

Maybe someday she'll smile and we'll get it on film.

I can't clean like this.

2009-12-20T14:53:00.000-06:00

One foot on the bouncy chair, making it go. This make cleaning virtually impossible. Unless you call blogging about not being able to clean "cleaning."

We're having a decent sized Christmas party on Friday night for our friends, and our house looks like the setting for the latest apocalypse movie. (2012? Yeah, our living room was the backdrop.) I can't hold Abby cause that's pissing her off. The moby isn't an option. Apparently, sleep is SO 2 days ago.

But how can I get upset with a face like this?

This is where I get mushy.

2009-12-17T10:17:00.000-06:00

This morning, as I'm sitting here, enjoying my new favorite talk show (Bonnie Hunt. I love her. That Chicago accent!! It just reminds me of home.) Abby's in my lap kind of squirmy but also kind of sleeping. And I start to get mushy because she's just all kinds of cute.

I love the way she squeaks when she stretches. Did I mention she stretches all the time? Because she does.

And the thing that gets me so much is when she laughs in her sleep. Do all babies do this? She isn't smiling really that much - just an occasional one here and there that we pretty much have to bribe out of her. But when she sleeps? She's all smiles and laughs. It melts my heart. And then this morning it dawned on me that someday, she'll do that when she's awake...and it'll be because of something Josh or I did.

Someone pass the kleenex.

And PS - she slept through the night THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW. Except last night. That didn't work so well. I'm guessing it's because her routine was changed, and we weren't home until nearly 11pm from the in-laws. We'll try again tonight.

You were not missed. And...STTN!!

2009-12-14T09:56:00.000-06:00

It was not a surprise when I woke up this morning to the arrival of that bitch Aunt Flo. I've been having cramps on and off since Friday. However, prior to getting pregnant, I never got pre-period cramps, only one day of HOLY HELL MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ARE GOING TO FALL OUT kind of cramps.

Being pregnant sucked. You all know how crappy it ended up for me.

I long for those days now.

John the Midwife says my Mirena IUD should eventually take care of my cramps and make my monthly visitor lighter and less painful. He also warned me that this first post partum period is going to totally suck. I'm fastening my seat belt as we speak.

No, not that belt. Extra points if you know what that is.

I should also mention here what STTN means for those not in the know. That stands for SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Also, this took place in HER CRIB, not in our room.

Excuse me while I pause to do an effin happy jig.

We had her video monitor hooked up to our TV so all we had to do was open our eyes to see her. She did a lot of waking and squirming, but after a couple minutes would fall back asleep. From 11pm till 6:30 she slept. I woke up a lot, but got so much more sleep than when she's in our room.

One problem was that she basically had icicles on her ears and hands. Our house is a quaint, drafty home built in 1932. Even with the heat set at 72 degrees it was still chilly willy. So, tonight we'll attempt it again, but hopefully will keep her warmer.

Thumbs Up or Not So Much: Baby Edition

2009-12-10T17:46:00.001-06:00

This is going to be a huge post. My apologies in advance.

I'll start by saying this - I purchased a LOT of things based on recommendations from friends, internet ratings and just because it looked cool. Some things worked great - others I wonder why I ever bothered. Hopefully someone can learn from my mistakes! Without further ado:

Thumbs Up
SwaddleMe wraps - I bought one of these from BabySteals.com or something without knowing much about it, and ended up buying 3 more from Babies R Us. Abby LOVED being wrapped up tight, and it was the only way she'd sleep soundly (and still to this day!) Swaddling with a regular blanket did not work, as she'd kick or punch her way out of it. I had four, 2 fleece and 2 cotton knit. I probably could have gotten by with just one of each, but Abby doesn't spit up much so...take that as you will.

Graco Pack N Play - Anyone who's going to be traveling with the wee babe, or needs something for grandma's house - THIS is what to get. Between the bassinet feature and changing table (that folds out of the way) it's everything you need while on the road. It even has a mini diaper caddy and wipes holder.

Fisher-Price Little Lamb Swing - I know most of the baby world knows how great this thing is already, so I won't go off the deep end with compliments, but it's pretty damn great. Abby loves hers. And momma just found out the seat sits up or lays down. (I'm a slow learner apparently.)

Air Flow Sleep Positioner - I don't remember why I was inclined to buy this (probably the instilled fear of SIDS) but it is WONDERFUL. Abby rolls onto her side pretty easily - not with this product. It's adjustable, and she doesn't seem to notice. The piece of mind it offers is worth the $13 or whatever it cost.

Cloth Diapers - Yeah - I don't cloth diaper. (Tell me about how I'm destroying the environment later.) However, these things are THE BEST burp cloths. Don't bother with the cutesy burp cloths sold by Gerber - they're too thin and Abby ends up getting soaked unless we double them up. Cloth diapers are the way to go.

Aden + Anais Swaddle Wraps - These are HUGE muslin blankets great for swaddling, emergency crib sheet, etc etc. A good lightweight blanket for summertime as well. Also - BUY THEM FROM TARGET - they're about $15 cheaper than if you buy them anywhere else. Don't ask me why.

Soothe & Glow Seahorse - Again, this is all over the baby boards as being awesome so I won't bother going into it. Just trust me - IT WORKS.

Tiny Love Symphony in Motion Mobile - I LOVE this mobile. It's perfect with bold colors and black & white graphics. Unfortch, it's not being produced anymore, but Tiny Love has other mobiles that are just as awesome. I bought mine on craigslist. Here's where I'm not so much on this - the motor was a bit loud, so I tried to contact Tiny Love to get a replacement part. I called them 4 times, leaving messages 3 of those times, and sent two emails trying to get ahold of someone. I still have yet to get any sort of reply. So...as long as it never breaks this is an awesome mobile. :)

Bink Link Pacifier Clip - I'll admit, when I saw little Madeline (of Matt & Madeline fame) with one of these I ordered one. Like, 5 months before I even tried to get pregnant. It was just too cute. And it's also a lifesaver. Abby loves her pacifier, but also enjoys spitting out just as much. This stops it from hitting the floor. And stops me from having a nervous breakdown.

Moby Wrap - I don't use this too much yet - but the times I have made it worth the money. I'm sure I'll use it more as she gets older and when it's not eleventy billion degrees below zero.

Bassinet (courtesy of craigslist) - I wasn't going to buy one since I had planned on using the Pack N Play in our bedroom. Then, a couple months before my due date I realized there was no way in HELL that huge thing was going to fit in our room. I didn't see the sense in buying a brand new bassinet when she was only going to use it for a couple months, tops. I got mine for $30, and it was in great shape. Ours is two pieces, so you can bring the "basket portion" into the living room, leaving the base behind.

Wet Happened Bag - Such a good idea. Anytime Abby's spit up or somehow managed to piss all over her clothes while we were out and about - her clothes went into this bag, keeping everything else dry and smelling good in her diaper bag. I have the "orchid groovy" print.

Summer Handheld Video Monitor - We tried the traditional audio monitor in our house and for whatever reason got nothing but feedback. (WiFi interfering? Who knows.) We had our eye on this the whole time, and finally broke down and bought it. LOVE. We have to keep the door to her room closed since our cat loves her crib more than she does - so having an ear AND eye on her from anywhere in the house is awesome for peace of mind. It was spendy, but I got it on sale at Babies R Us and it's been worth every penny.

Burt Bees "Baby Bee" line - I received Johnson's, Mustela and Burt's Bees products as gifts...and I have to say I love the Burt's Baby Bee products the best. (Ironic name, no?) Their line is almost 100% natural and smells just as good if not better than the Johnson's line.

Munchkin Safety Bath Duck - If you're like me and enjoy a scalding hot bath, it can be kind of scary selecting a temp for your little one. This little ducky stopped me from worrying if the tub was too hot.

And websites I purchased many an item from - Mamabargains.com and Babysteals.com

Not So Much

Halo Sleep Sacks -I have 3 of these (including a swaddling version from the hospital) and I've used one a couple times. Here's my issue (and maybe it's just a seasonal deal) - her arms are not covered while she's in this thing (the non-swaddle version). It's cold in our house at night, and this didn't keep her warm. Fine for napping, but I'm not sold.

Itzbeen Timer - I bought this because in the beginning I was having a hard time remembering when I had fed Abby. Problem is, I also had a hard time remembering to hit the button every time I did, which makes this thing pretty useless. I will say I use the light on it all the time, as I have it clipped to the bassinet. (Then I don't have to turn on my light in the middle of the night and wake up the mister.) Might be more helpful for breastfeeding mommies (helps to remind which breast you nursed from last).

Carter's Cuddle Me Safari Bouncer - I registered for this because it was cute, neutral and had a vibrating option. IT SUCKS. Her head rolls all around (despite the head positioner) and the vibration makes this thing sound like it's going to fall apart. It's SO LOUD. We had to stuff folded up paper into it to try to quiet it down and it just vibrates out and the one million decibel vibrations resume. I wish we had a chair that was quiet, because she likes it, but momma can't stand the sound. But I can't bring myself to buy a different one.

Fold Away Baby Bath - I thought this would be nice to have since it folds up so small, but it's ridiculous. I can't use it alone, she slides all over the place on the inflatable bottom. It might be better when she's older and can sit up on her own, but not now. Also, the plastic feet made the tub itself slide all over our tub. We ended up with one that looks like this (sans the froggy stuff) and it's MUCH better, I can actually give her a bath myself.

Gerber Burp Cloths - As I mentioned above, these things are adorable but need to be doubled or tripled up to prevent the formula from leaking through.

Baby Cache "Tampa" Crib & Dresser - I only put this here because I have a complaint. The wood is REALLY soft and there's lots of dents and deep scratches in both of these already (some scratches from my kitty's claws!!) and that makes me sad for how much they were. Other than that I really like the design and build of these two...but scratches = sad.

Thumbs up or not so much: Pregnancy Edition

2009-12-10T16:06:00.001-06:00

The list of what saved me and what I didn't need.

First Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Be Band/Bella Band was my BFF. Bloating can get out of control, and you really shouldn't buy maternity pants until you're really getting a baby belly. (I jumped the gun and bought a pair at 14 weeks and couldn't wear them by my third trimester because they were too tight.)
SeaBands really helped my morning sickness. Lucky for me, I wore them in the spring when long sleeves were still needed, because you can't really hide these things. But I didn't take them off for weeks. LIFESAVERS.
Seltzer & lime in a highball - to fool the friends and family that yes, you are still a lush and aren't pregnant.
Yoga pants - stretchy pants are SO needed for lounging around the house.

Not so much:

Again, hold off on buying maternity clothes (specifically pants) for as long as you can, because chances are what you buy now won't fit later on.

Second Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Body Pillow - I didn't bother with the Snoogle (by Boppy) because it seemed ridiculous to drop $50 on a body pillow that's really only useful while pregnant, so I bought a cheapie one available at Target - $10 for the pillow, $10 for a cover. LIFESAVER. My hips hurt so bad from sleeping, it just changed everything.
Boppy Wedge - I DID spring for the Boppy Wedge pillow. I found I could use it between my legs on nights when I wasn't feeling the body pillow, and when I got bigger, it was a nice support for my belly while on my side. (However - wedging it behind my back screwed me up BIG TIME. Be warned.)
Prenatal Yoga - I went to a Yoga studio that specifically is meant for pre- and post-natal yoga. It was AWESOME and really helped my back pain and overall well being. Of course, I had to quit going thanks to the preterm labor business.
Fake Wedding Rings - I outgrew mine and went without for a while (instead wearing them around my neck) but then got nervous about that and bought a fake set instead. I've been back in my real set for a few weeks now and I'm so happy - but even happier that I went through my pregnancy with SOMETHING on my ring finger.

Not so much:
Gaiam Prenatal Yoga DVD - I bought a DVD online and it's still in the packaging. Basically, just like my workout DVDs - if I don't have a real live human being in front of me going through the motions, I won't do it.

Third Trimester
Thumbs Up:

Pregnancy Massage - I only did this once, and I was SO MAD at myself for not having done it sooner. Laying on the pregnancy pillow which allows you to lay on your stomach ALONE was worth it. Well worth the money.
Bra Extenders - I ended up going from a 32C, to a 32DD, to more like a 34D at the end of my pregnancy...and a week after buying the 34D bra - THAT felt too tight. Enter the bra extenders. I wish I would have found these before I bothered buying the 34D bra...but that one WAS a no underwire, which was also quite necessary.
American Apparel Fine Jersey T Dress - I bought a couple of these in the second trimester and wore them to the end. And I am still wearing them now. They stretched to accommodate my belly and were SO COMFY.

So, there's the list of Pregnancy needs and things not so much. I may add to this later if I think of something else!

Apparently I'm a great looking bed.

2009-12-07T18:28:00.000-06:00

Abby has not let me put her down for more than 20 minutes today. Once she realizes she's not on mommy's chest anymore, the waterworks begin. I've created a monster.

Anyway, to catch up, here's the latest in baby land.

She has not slept as long as she did that Sunday night again. In fact, it's like she's waking up more. Boo-hiss. Also, we may have to transition her to her crib sooner rather than later since it's supposed to get so damned cold here this week, and her bassinet is pretty close to a cold wall and drafty window. So, we'll see.

I cleaned and organized Abby's room a few nights ago, and I'm so happy I finally got to it - her room has a floor, turns out. The shelves that need staining are in the hands of my father in law...and the room is FINALLY near completion.

I'm thinking about putting together a list of things I loved/worked well while I was pregnant and stuff I've used/liked and not used/disliked since I've had Abby. If this is something you'd be interested in - let me know!

And finally, in my first step in keeping Abby an only child (at least for the next few years), I'm having an IUD placed tomorrow. Mirena to be exact. I've got my darvocet at the ready, and my mother in law on hand to keep an eye on Abby while I possibly lie on the couch writhing in horrid, crampy pain. I'll deal though. The thought of not having to think about birth control for the next 3-5 years sounds freaking AWESOME. Especially if it tones my cramps down and well, WORKS.

So, there's a boring update for now. Friday we're headed back to my parents for our (early) Christmas. Yessss...

Quickly dropping in...

2009-12-02T17:04:00.000-06:00

...amid baskets of dirty laundry and a baby who apparently doesn't care for the Jeopardy theme song to mention the following:

On Sunday night, after 5 hours of being in the car all day (read sleeping), Abigail SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Well, from 12-6:30. As far as I'm concerned that's all night. Of course, it hasn't been replicated, but HOT DAMN - that was awesome. Last night, had it not been for her wet diaper, I think she could have done it again since she fell back asleep after being changed. Le sigh.

In other news, Christmas is fast approaching and I have yet to purchase a gift or even have a clue as to what to get anyone. Not even the hubs. We're celebrating Christmas at my folks house in like, 10 days. I'd better get crackin'. (And Mom - you'd better get that massive tree up!) The hubs and I will be picking out our wreath this weekend while his parents cut down their tree (we have a fake one), and I have to figure out how to dress Abby for the coldest temperatures she will have ever experienced.

Alright, I must go. Abby has clearly had enough of her swing and I don't think I can handle another crying jag.

1 month old.

2009-11-28T09:59:00.000-06:00

My dearest Abigail,

You turned one month old yesterday. I apologize that the day passed with little fanfare, but we had lots of stuff going on. You were lucky enough to celebrate with your grandparents and great auntie Mitzi, so that may have been gift enough. You've changed so much already in the past month that I'm already starting to worry about how much you'll change before your two month mark! You're barely fitting in your newborn onesies anymore (those long skinny legs!) and are getting stronger by the day. Daddy's attempting to show you how to hold your pacifier in your mouth with your buddy (aka your right hand) and sometimes you get it, but most of the time you're spitting it out of your mouth at warp speed. You haven't slept through the night yet, but I'll take it since you really only ever cry when you need something, and once that's taken care of, you're back to happy mellow baby.

I'm getting really excited for your first Christmas. I already bought you a stocking and am busy compiling the list of things you'll be getting. I'm more concerned about gifts for you than making a list for myself (which I've usually completed by now). I guess when the mental short list for myself includes a new MacBook and a dishwasher I quickly am jolted back to reality and focus on the $14 Soothe & Glow Seahorse that's on your list. (Trust me, you want one.)

Anyway, I must go. John Mayer tickets go on sale in 2 minutes and Mommy needs to get front row so I can wear his sweat for a couple hours. I'll explain that when you're older.

Love you much,

Mommy.

So much to be thankful for.

2009-11-27T10:58:00.001-06:00

We made the five hour drive with little to no drama (stupid travel warmer is a piece of crap), and Abby rewarded us with three, count 'em...THREE poops in 12 hours. (I KNOW, right?!) The pack-n-play was set up with ease and it's the greatest invention of all time. Ours has a changing table and bassinet attachment.

Yesterday morning started out with friends of my parents stopping by with gifts. Eventually Abby was turned into one.

My mom, auntie and I made Thanksgiving dinner and everything turned out spectacular! I made my grandma's infamous frozen fruit salad. It was delish and a big hit as usual. I've decided it's now my job to make that for every holiday in her honor. Abby will eventually have to learn how to make it, since it's her middle namesake's recipe.

After dinner, we all sat in a chair, and the tryptophan kicked in. (Well, for Abby I'm sure it was just a pleasant milk drunk.)

So so very much to be thankful for.

**A big thank you to Mitzi for being my personal photographer while she's here. LOVE that iPhone.

So THAT's where I dropped it.

2009-11-23T09:34:00.001-06:00

You know when you're eating something and food drops off your fork or something, and you KNOW it happened, but you can't find it?

Well I finally found it. Roasted garlic hummus in the folds of my daughter's neck last night. And even after I thought I got it all, I'm still finding (and smelling) it.

I think I just gave up my place in the running for mommy of the year.

I love my husband.

2009-11-20T12:54:00.000-06:00

Thanks to the hubs being on all night baby duty (in the living room), I got to sleep through the night. TEN WHOLE HOURS. I haven't slept more than three hours consecutively in weeks. Ten hours...that's like 3.5 nights worth of interrupted sleep combined.

I felt drugged when I woke up...similar to how I felt on the magnesium after Abby was born. It quickly faded into feeling totally refreshed and like a new mommy.

Now it's just about 1pm, the hubs is about to be woken up...and Abby is fast asleep. We're going to attempt an afternoon out today. Pray for us.

Moby WIN.

2009-11-18T16:31:00.001-06:00

I attempted the Moby a little over a week ago and it was a huge FAIL. Like, huge. I had Abby in the cradle hold, and attempted to do the dishes. She ended up in my armpit and under my arm, curled into a weird position, whimpering the whole time. I realized I probably didn't have it tied tight enough and didn't want to attempt it again lest I traumatize her more and make her hate it.

So, today, I tried again, this time with the newborn hug hold and tied as tight as I could. Here's the result. She slept for about 30 minutes, cried for a diaper change, went back in and has been sleeping since.

Dearest Moby makers, I love you.

I'm choosing to blog over showering.

2009-11-18T12:32:00.000-06:00

I'm sure I'll regret that decision this afternoon.

Anyway, Abby is sleeping soundly in her bassinet, and I'm back to being alone during the day. My bestie A was here for FIVE WHOPPING DAYS over the weekend and I miss her terribly already. She was so much help...and so much fun! (A - move here. DO IT.)

Other than having visitors, not much is going on. (Warning, poop talk fast approaching.) Abby's on a good schedule of pooping every other night, so that's good, I suppose. She's eating a lot and getting a little chubby in the cheek area. I also noticed she's getting some awesome eyelashes, so I think we can add another tick in the "mommy trait" column.

Speaking of mommy...I'm exhausted. I get through the days okay, but it's getting more and more difficult to be a smiley mommy. I'm not so much depressed, just totally wiped out. The hubs has promised me a couple nights of real sleep this weekend, and I cannot effing wait. I think it'll make a huge difference. I don't know if our weeknight routine is working. Maybe this is just what people do in the first few months...daddy sleeps more since he's working and momma just turns into a zombie that forgets to brush her teeth and lives on Slim Fast shakes because they're easy. What do/did you do during the first few months to survive?

Luckily, the hubs and I scored on the H1N1 flu mist last week (thanks, Chris!) so, at least I don't have to worry about getting that. I have a feeling I'll be getting a cold or something soon with the little amount of sleep under my belt. Fingers crossed I don't.

And finally, a week from today, Abby will be taking her first trip back home with us. Five hours in a car with a 4 week old baby. Am I insane? Oh well. I can't WAIT to go home. It's been a long time. And TURKEY!

Two weeks.

2009-11-11T15:08:00.000-06:00

It's been two weeks since we had Abby - it seems both like yesterday and like we've always had her. Things for the most part are going well. I have a call in to the doctor about her newest development - screaming unconsolable crying that lasts for about 60-90 minutes, complete with stiffening, arching body and coughing, and crying to the point of breathlessness. I'm suspecting a slight case of reflux. Or colic. Or "I hate you Mommy" syndrome. At any rate, I spoke to a nurse, and I'm just waiting to see what they have to say.

She's getting stronger by the day - holding her head up on her own a few times a day (viewed during burps), hanging onto her pacifier (and also ripping it out of her mouth) and I've learned that she smiles (sometimes) when both her cheeks are tickled. She is the light of my life, even if she did make me cry last night because I couldn't calm her crying.

Side note: the hubs was baffled that my overly emotional self was still around ("You're crying because she's crying?") and wondered how much longer I would be in this state. I assured him that this was still normal and I was probably going to cry again at some point. I'm sure his concern is more towards PPD than the fact that I'm a blubbery mess without even trying. I'm definitely not depressed. Just tired. REALLY tired. And hate seeing my baby seem to be in pain.

And also - in case anyone wanted to see...and well, frankly...I'm so effing stoked at wearing my "normal" jeans - I've included a belly shot of where I'm at today.

Booya.

Oh, and here's a picture of Abby. Because how could I not?

So far, so good.

2009-11-09T12:29:00.000-06:00

Today was the hubs first day back at work. Last night seemed to go okay, I think he slept enough. I actually slept a little more as well - maybe like 3-4 hours total. And Abby, well, she slept too. Not through the night or anything, but we all did okay.

Today, I ventured out of the house BY MYSELF WITH ABBY. And it didn't blow up in my face. Granted, we were only gone for about an hour, but she barely stirred and pretty much slept the whole time. Remind me to write the following in her baby book:

Baby's first trip alone with Mommy: To UPS Customer Center in NE Minneapolis. Grandpa left his VERY IMPORTANT laptop at our house yesterday...and instead of hopping in the car for a 10 hour round trip delivery, we drove to UPS and had it packaged and delivered to him. Abby slept. ~~Momma - although unshowered, with ratty hair and still practically in her pajamas - beamed.~~ Momma was very proud.

We have some visitors today, and I might even attempt to give Abby a bath before they arrive. Or, I'll do the old sponge bath...and at least change her out of her spit-up covered pajamas she's been in all morning. (I don't wanna hear it - this kid hates being changed - diaper or otherwise - more than anything on the planet. You'd swear I told her Santa wasn't real and that her clean diaper was full of poison oak.)

Speak of the devil - someone needs to be changed. Cue the waterworks.

Tuesday night FAIL and irrational fears of baby vomit.

2009-11-04T11:21:00.001-06:00

Well, last night the hubs and I attempted to sleep in the same room as the baby...all three of us together instead of the 4 hours shifts staying up with her that we'd done the previous two nights. (Worked awesome, BTW (we got 5-6 hours of sleep at a stretch) but not really an option once he goes back to work on Monday.)

We went to bed around 2ish. Abby was due for a feeding at 4:30.

Wait...let me pause here to also add this tidbit. Abby's butt was backed up for a good 36 hours, until last night when she had an awesome poop on her own. (Yep - I called poop awesome. I'm done for.) We were just about to use the ol' lubed up thermometer on her booty when she did it all by herself. I thought - yay! The path had been cleared, now back to regularly scheduled pooping. Not so much. She hasn't pooped since then, and she's CLEARLY trying to finagle some out of her little body but it's not working.

Back to the story at hand. We went to bed, and Abby WAS asleep...and then started grunting and fidgeting and doing all sorts of sounds and aerobic tricks to work her poop out (or so I assume). Did I sleep? Maybe...if dozing for 3 minutes and waking up to look at her is called sleeping. Finally at 4am I changed her diaper and fed her her bottle, and headed back to bed. She was SOUND asleep...and started up with it all over again. By 5:30 or so, the hubs woke up and asked if I'd slept. I gave it an honest "I don't know" and he got up with her to change her diaper again and get her settled in the living room so I could sleep. I kept insisting that she's trying to poop, he thinks she's just making typical baby noise. So, he took her in the living room and I cried. (Of course, I had also just had a brief dream that I "tried again" with a new Abby who's intestines worked correctly but ended up having weird deformed hands instead. That probably didn't help in the crying department.)

Today is a new day.

Also...Abby spit up for the first time last night. And I'm not ashamed to say it freaked me the fuck out. (Pardon my french...sailor's mouth is too easy when you're sleep deprived.) We had just fed her a GIGANTIC feeding which I know is to blame...we let her sleep too long and she was starving so my brilliance decided, YES! Let's give her nearly a whole ounce more than she usually eats!

Anyway, maybe it was the trick in getting her to finally poop on her own, because she did shortly after downing that bottle, but then promptly spit up after I had just changed her entire outfit since she'd peed on herself. It was no biggie to me, until she did it again, but MUCH more. And then I got scurred.

I know it's just baby barf, and I didn't mind it for the most part, but I just have this thing with barf. I cannot watch another human being vomit. It makes me get shaky and I get nervous and scared of having to watch it again. It probably stems back to when my cousins and I got dropped off at the movie theater when we were young, and one of my cousins ate like 3,495,751 sour patch kids or something and didn't feel good. In my young, trying to be an adult mind, I thought - HERE! Put your head on my totally rad leather jacket with fringe I was given as a first communion gift! And then....BARF. All up in that fringe. I'm pretty sure I cried for days about that one. I took it to the bathroom and tried to clean it up, it was dry cleaned, but never was the same again.

Anywho, I was scared to feed her again. But she's eaten 3 bottles since sans spit up so that's good, but has added the "gagging face" to her repertoire of sleep faces that immediately makes me hide under her burp cloth.

And all that was just Tuesday.

The best and most horrifying day of my entire life.

2009-11-01T22:33:00.001-06:00

Please note: what you are about to read is a birth story...of EPIC PROPORTIONS.

(cue random Tenacious D music now.)

It will be graphic and I will leave nothing out. You've been warned.

This story picks up where this one left off. We arrived at the hospital around 1pm on Monday, where we got settled into our birth room, and I put on my fabulous hospital gown. I got checked in, and after 2 unsuccessful attempts at placing my IV (apparently high blood pressure makes your veins less than awesome), it was in, and I was started on saline. Josh's folks arrived around this time.

At 4pm, they started me on magnesium sulfate, which acts as an anti-seizure kind of medication used for pre-eclampsia. It's a smooth muscle relaxer, meaning it was going to make me feel like a lop. It also meant I might not contract well on my own since it was going to slow everything down. Around 4:30, they broke my water (which was an awkward sensation to say the least) and determined I was now about 6cms dilated on my own. In my mind, I'm PRAYING I don't have the baby in the next hour - I was convinced everything was moving so quickly (and painlessly) that my parents wouldn't make it in time. I had no idea how wrong I was.

I had a couple real contractions before the epidural arrived. They weren't spaced well, but I finally knew what a real contraction felt like. (Meaning - I hadn't actually had one yet. When they say "you'll know" they effing MEAN IT.) The anesthesiologist arrived and gave me my epidural. It kind of hurt, and he used about a hundred yards of tape to secure it to my back. Immediately I could tell that it wasn't working right. I had full sensation on my right side, and not much on my left. I was checked again - still 6cms, and the baby was in a bad position (I assume since I'd been laying on my left side for roughly a month) - so they had me roll onto my right side to move the baby, and maybe help activate the epidural on that side. It sort of helped, and later they had me roll almost onto my stomach on my right side to help things along more. This seemed to get the epi working on both sides, so even though the anesthesiologist would come back later and check to see if I wanted it redone, instead of monkeying with it - I said to leave it. Bad idea.

Our differing views of labor.

My parents arrived not long after the epi was in place. I was so relieved. John the Midwife decided that I wasn't contracting well enough on my own to progress, so they started a slow drip of Petocin. (So, contracting agent AND muscle relaxer now pumping through my veins.) I was starting to fall asleep between contractions because of the mag sulfate. It was weird.

By 9pm, I was ready to push. Excellent - let's get this show on the road, shall we? So, I started pushing. I also issued a blanket apology to everyone in the room for the large amounts of profanity I would at some point be spewing forth. I could feel all my contractions in my butt and was getting only a little pain relief. But I pushed. And pushed. AND PUSHED.

Around 11pm, I was so puffy from, well...everything and so out of it from the mag sulfate that my eyes were pretty well closed and not to be opened again. I just remember my eyelids feeling so heavy and thinking my eyes had swollen shut. My mom was getting worried - I'd been pushing for 2 hours and there was no talk of any sort of assistance. Apparently around 11pm John the Midwife had to leave to deliver another baby down the hall, leaving his Student Midwife Julie to take over. I was so tired, and felt the worst pain, but kept pushing anyway. Luckily (or maybe unluckily?) my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart so I had some resting time between, but it was just drawing the process out further. Nurse Ratchet was now in the room, yelling at me to grab my legs and pull, but I was too tired and my hips kept cramping so NO I WILL NOT GRAB MY LEGS THIS POSITION IS JUST FINE. I made a comment around this time as well that wouldn't it be great if I could just have the baby right past midnight so that it's birthday would be on my grandmothers? Wouldn't that be great internets...to prolong this suffering at LEAST one more hour? I clearly was not in my right mind at this point.

At midnight, John the Midwife came back. My mother and my mother in law were giving him the evil eye for not helping. I was screaming bloody murder with every push now and could not see an end in sight. I just wanted this baby OUT. I didn't care how or why - just GET IT OUT NOW. Deep down I didn't want to hear C-section, but I wanted to hear SOME kind of plan B, because seriously, I couldn't push anymore.

(I'm quite sure it was around this time that I yelled "I'M NEVER HAVING ANOTHER FUCKING BABY EVER AGAIN" as well as "GET IT OUT OF ME! FUCK!" and "I CAN'T PUSH ANYMORE IT HURTS TOO FUCKING BAD." Hey - don't look at me - I warned you I was going to swear. THAT'S why I apologized ahead of time.)

John the Midwife then gave me this - if within 5 pushes (which I later learned meant contractions) the baby wasn't out they would get the vacuum. THANK GOD. A PLAN! So I kept pushing. And I could feel the pushes where I pushed correctly. AND IT HURT. So John gave me some sort of a local numbing shot IN MY VAG. Yes, internets - I agreed to have a needle placed in my vagina to numb up the area because THAT sounded better than the pain I was feeling. I kept pushing, and knew I was doing it right, and let out a scream that would make a harpee jealous every single time. And I didn't care. I had to scream. Nurse Ratchet kept telling me to use the screaming energy for pushing and had I not been so knocked out I would have knocked her out. I was so tired and amped up that I started feeling like I was starting to black out every time I pushed. I felt like I couldn't breathe. John made me focus and said that the baby was RIGHT THERE just push again. He was stretching me the whole time to help make way. And then I did it. I decided I didn't care how much it hurt, I was going to push the baby out. And so I did.

At 12:49 am, on Tuesday October 27th - my late grandma Rita's birthday - Abigail Rita was born, weighing 6lbs 6ozs and 20 inches long.

Turns out, she had her hand up next to her face the whole time, forcing me to force her and her stinking hand & elbow out WITH HER HEAD. And thus, a second degree tear. I didn't care. I was so happy to have her out that I nearly passed out from exhaustion and elation. Thanks to the Mag Sulfate, I totally missed her being born, my eyes were shut the whole time. She was a little out of it at birth as well, scoring only 6 on her initial APGAR, but quickly rebounded to a 9 on her second.

And yes, I did tell John the Midwife and his trusty Student Midwife Julie to go ahead and sew up my vag completely while repairing my tear because I had no use for it anymore. Seriously. Why would I ever want to get pregnant again? It nearly KILLED ME.

I could hear everyone cooing and talking about how beautiful she was (and that sadly, she DID end up with my toes) and I couldn't get my crap together enough to realize they were talking about my daughter. The one I just gave birth to.

When they finally brought her over and laid her in my arms - I cried. I did it. I actually survived nearly FOUR HOURS of pushing, and 38 weeks of pregnancy...and I had a baby girl. She was so awake and alert, and upon hearing my voice looked directly at me. It was the greatest moment of my life thus far.

A puffy, crying hot mess. Not the baby - me.

The next 24 hours I was still out of it from the mag sulfate. I held onto my little girl for a bit, but the hubs had to do a lot of work, including her first diaper change. Once they cut the dose in half, I felt MUCH better, and then when shut off completely Tuesday, I felt like a million bucks. Even with a pad the size of Texas between my legs. I stayed in the hospital until Thursday morning so they could monitor my blood pressure, which is still a little high.

And I'm bringing this novel of a blog post to a close. The hubs just handed Abby over to me, and I can't do anything but stare at her, tears welling up in my eyes. Yeah, yeah, hormones. But my god, she is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Every moment of pain, frustration, and sickness of this pregnancy was worth it. You really don't ever know how much you can love someone until they're placed in your arms in the first moments of their own lives.

You know...that tear wasn't half bad, in retrospect.

2009-11-01T15:21:00.000-06:00

I know, I know, I have yet to divulge the dirty deets of my labor. I've started writing it a few times, and then get distracted. I'm going to try to do it tonight. The more I wait, the more I forget and blur what really happened. And it's important you know EVERYTHING that happened, internets. It will explain why I (sort of) politely requested John the Midwife and his trusty student Midwife Julie to go ahead and sew up my vag completely while they were mending my tear, because I simply was never going to utilize that area of my body EVER AGAIN.

And speaking of pain, I'm in it. No, not your typical post delivery pains of the groinal region (those are getting better)...but that of engorged ta-tas. They hurt. A LOT.

I suppose at this point I should pause and reiterate that yes, I decided to formula feed. It was the greatest decision I've ever made, next to deciding to start a family. The hubs has been able to be as involved as me in this whole process, which was super important since I was pretty much living on Mars for the first 18 hours after I had Abby - thanks to the drugs I was on. He changed her first diaper, gave her her first bottle. After the pregnancy I had and the not so great labor, I couldn't IMAGINE trying to deal with breastfeeding right now. I've diverted from the topic at hand - my gigantic, hard boobs.

My milk came in yesterday. I naively thought I was in the clear, seeing as how it was Saturday and nothing had happened yet. Boy, was I wrong. This is only supposed to last a couple days, I think...but MY GOD. Ta-tas this huge and I can't even show them off. (They are firmly strapped down via sports bra that I didn't even remove to shower.)

So, yeah, in any case...I am still alive. Sleeping not much, but getting so much help (and love) from the hubs, my mother-in-law, my mother (who, even though can't be here this first week like we'd hoped - has been nothing but awesome as my "24 hour help line/psychiatric assistant") as well as our dads and countless friends and family. I'll get hormonal/drunken frat boy and say I LOVE YOU ALL. No, seriously dude. I LOVE YOU.

Your gift to Abby...

2009-10-28T08:23:00.000-05:00

...if you would please...

They restarted the vote count...AGAIN! (If you're confused, see this post from a couple days ago)...so if you could again do me all a favor and click the hell outta the link on the right that says "We're Listed! @TopBabyBlogs.com" (or for you RSS readers, the banner at the bottom of each update) - that would be swell!

(We were doing so well - this blog was ranked 19th! And now...pffftt. So, if you could help out with a bunch of clicks on those, that'd be the greatest virtual gift to give to Abby!)

Thanks everyone!

Abigail Rita.

2009-10-27T23:01:00.000-05:00

born october 27, 2009

12:49am

6 pounds 6 ounces

20 inches long

she is beautiful.

more to come.

What's puffy and reflex-y and going to have a baby today?

2009-10-26T11:13:00.000-05:00

That's right, your mom.

No wait...I mean, me.

The verdict is in: pregnancy-induced hypertension. My BP was elevated, gained 3lbs since Thursday and protein was in the pee again. And after feeling like ass yesterday, John the Midwife made the call - today is the day.

The hubs and I are at home, repacking our already packed hospital bags and getting ready to go to L&D. They're going to start by breaking my water - I'm at 5cms today, so...here's hoping I don't speed through this! My parents are getting their shit together and driving back in the next hour...it takes about 5 hours to get here. I just hope they're here in time!

So, to repeat - HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS.

I'll blog/tweet as I can. Follow me on twitter (link on the right in my blog) if you'd like to stay posted. :)

What the hell was THAT?

2009-10-26T00:43:00.001-05:00

Posted at 12:44am - so when I say "tomorrow," that really means today. FYI. :)

As I was saying goodnight to the hubs and getting ready to settle in on the couch, I started getting a sensation something along the lines of "this kid finally punched through my cervix and I know if I check I'll have an arm hanging out of my vag." I'm not joking. I started panicing a little. Every movement the ninja made felt like things were just opening up for it to fall out.

Then I remembered that since my water still hasn't broken, that thankfully, that is not possible.

However, I am in full panic mode about WTF is going on down there. My pants-baby fears are not being quelled. I just spent the last 30 minutes googling "10 cms without pain" and "full dilation without warning." Luckily there wasn't much. But I'm still worried.

Huhhh, now the kid is awake and moving again. Sleep is not happening tonight. I just know it.

I have an "appointment" with John the Midwife tomorrow (appointment meaning I have to call and find out when to come in tomorrow morning) and part of me is wishing for induction or maybe "holy crap you're 8 cms dilated - to Labor & Delivery!" just because I can't imagine living with this baby-falling-out sensation for much longer.

I hate to ask this of you, dear readers...

2009-10-25T01:23:00.000-05:00

But do you see that badge to the right? The one that says "We're Listed! Top Baby Blogs!"? It's also at the bottom of every RSS feed.

Well, they just restarted the count, so I need all the help I can get to go back to the number I was at before! I think I was around #56, which is awesome considering how many blogs are registered through the site.

Anyway - any clicks you'd like to give me would be greatly appreciated. There are a lot of other awesome blogs listed at this site as well that you should check out.

Thanks!!! You're all swell...as well as the bees knees.

(Obviously I still have an inside baby. I'm working on it. Trust me.)

Dear Ninja: A Plea.

2009-10-23T12:46:00.000-05:00

I'm just as appreciative of a good joke as the next girl, you know this. However, if these random contractions...these REAL contractions - don't amount to REAL LABOR soon, we're going to have a long talk about how rude it is to lead someone on.

I had the most painful one so far this morning, around 5:30am. It woke me up. I thought maybe it was just the evil combo of a braxton hicks along with a full bladder. However, after peeing, it was obvious it was much much more.

I've since had maybe 3 other contractions this morning that made me pause for a moment and made me unable to think of anything else. Of course, there's no rhyme or reason to these contractions, and they're lasting between 2-4 minutes a piece, with as much as FIVE HOURS apart.

My parental units will be here in about 5-6 hours.

I will say, if this DOES turn into labor this weekend, the Ninja will get a gold star for timing. Having my mom AND dad here for the big event would be more than I could ever hope for.

I'll attempt to not get my hopes up.

Also, it's snowing like a mo-fo right now.

Oh - and John the midwife called last night and said my bloodwork looked okay, so if nothing happens this weekend, I'll be seeing him on Monday.

Add it to the list.

2009-10-22T12:37:00.000-05:00

Braxton Hicks starting around 16 weeks
Gallbladder inflammation/attacks
Rh negative
Tested positive for preterm labor
Dilated to 3-5cms before 37 weeks
Bedrest

And now? Protein in the pee. Which is a cause for concern...that is a sign of pre-eclampsia. It's slightly surprising since my blood pressure is usually pretty decent, but I did have a day of a headache that wouldn't quit and some floaters in my vision yesterday. John the Midwife checked my reflexes and nearly got kicked in the face. I'm still not quite sure what that was for, but I did also mention the swelling I've noticed in the past couple of days, and the dent in my left shin from crossing my legs for 20 minutes the other day. My blood pressure was a little higher today (for me) but within normal range. He wasn't too concerned about my weight gain - up 2lbs from last week (good GOD I'm 166lbs)...but did a blood draw for more info about the protein issue. John mentioned if the protein IS an issue, that they'd more than likely induce me.

Yep, the "i" word.

It makes me laugh; who in God's name ever thought that someone who is 4-5 cms dilated would ever NEED to be induced, but apparently it happens. And yes...I'm still at 4-5cms.

I'm supposed to go in again on Monday for another check. My parents will be here tomorrow evening until Sunday - something tells me I'll make it through the weekend, only to go in on Monday and have to go in for an induction the next day. Then my parents can just turn around and come back. :)

37 weeks.

2009-10-20T15:11:00.001-05:00

How far along? 37 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +30 lbs. (The hubs informed me at my last appointment that I now weigh more than him. Thanks, dear.)
Maternity clothes? I'm wearing stretch pants. And I love it.
Stretch marks? This has been a sad week. I now have one gigantic stretchie above my belly button. My body as far as I'm concerned is now a total loss.
Sleep: Past couple of nights have been okay - falling asleep quickly and sleeping more on my back.
Best moment this week: Knowing we are totally set for this kid.
Movement: Yep. Got a huge kick while trying to pee earlier. Thought it was my water breaking. The kid's already a prankster.
Food cravings: Back to craving avocado rolls & white wine.
Gender: Now that the girl name is settled, I'm totally convinced it's a girl.
Labor Signs: None. My back hurts, but I think it's because my body is disagreeing with all the laying I'm doing.
Belly Button in or out? Ugh.
What I miss: Being comfortable.
What I am looking forward to: Getting this baby out!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Candy corn is good.
Milestones: We are officially full term. GET THE HINT, NINJA!

The Fruit: 37 weeks - Delivery

2009-10-20T09:52:00.000-05:00

At week 37, your pregnancy is considered full term, meaning baby is likely to thrive after birth. Baby spends these last weeks in preparation for the outside world… meaning careful refinement of the blink, suck, inhale and exhale. Meconium, which you’ll probably find in the first diaper, is accumulating in the intestines. If (okay, as) you worry about giving birth, consider what it’s like for the little one. During the journey out of your womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life.

Uh...what?

2009-10-19T09:10:00.000-05:00

Two things happened last night that I can barely explain, but make me so happy.

1.) Apparently, I didn't snore at all last night. YESS. Josh attributes it to the baby dropping, I'll take whatever reason. (More importantly, I spent the whole night sleeping in our bed. AWESOME.) Which brings me to number two...

2.) I slept on my back more than any other position last night. AND IT WAS COMFORTABLE. Where did this come from? My back is a little sore today, but what the hell?

I'm hoping they both continue. Maybe my body has just given up fighting this pregnancy and is just allowing anything to happen. FINE. I'LL TAKE IT.

Also - we shook on a girl's name last night, which means the naming drama is now OVER. We have a boy's and girl's name. And you're all still going to have to wait until the baby's here to find out what it is. Car seat was installed on Saturday (and was WAY easier than I thought it would be), and the remainder of the baby clothes have been washed. I'm making one final trip to Babies R Us today for misc. last minute things I probably don't need...but want anyway before the baby is here.

Do you hear that, Ninja? We're FINALLY ready. Ready when you are. So...my parents will be here this weekend - Friday sounds like a good day to make an appearance - no? WORK ON IT.

Yay and YAY!

2009-10-17T09:25:00.000-05:00

Two things:

One, the car seat DID come yesterday! Now, to try to figure out how to install the damn thing. The instructions are VERY intimidating. I've heard YouTube has a plethora of vids on how to install. I'll be checking those later. But I lerve it and I'm so glad I went ahead and had it shipped to me instead of just picking a different pattern.

And second - one of my friends from back in the day/my hometown had her baby last night (on her due date, no less)! She too was on the "wait and see" plan for the gender, and she had a boy! (Just like everyone predicted at my shower back in June.) For the record, a girl was predicted for me by the same ladies. We'll see if I'm friends with psychics soon enough.

This labor thing is pretty easy.*

2009-10-16T16:48:00.000-05:00

*NOTE TO LABOR GODS - I'M TOTALLY JOKING. No need to show me what's really up for a week at least.

Saw John the Midwife today - this week's state of the uterus:

Mucus Plug - Still gone.
Dilated - 4-5cm!!
Effaced - 80% (same)
Bedrest - Still till the end, unless I want to be in pelvis splitting pain.
Measuring - Around 35 weeks - only because I've dropped.
Baby is at 0 station, which is lower than last week's -3.

Essentially, between the baby being so low, my dilation and effacement - I'm halfway done with labor. The only pain I've experienced is my gallbladder (now known as Vincent) and the cervix clawing. (Some of my ladies think the ninja is just hanging on for dear life - I concur!) I've had a few contractions with some cramping in the last week - but nothing to write home about. So, HOLY CRAP. It's so close now I can nearly taste it. Now if the UPS man would just get here with our car seat...we'll be ready to rock and roll.

The hubs and I went out for lunch after my appointment today and then to Best Buy, a rug store and Target. We FINALLY got a rug for the baby's room, and also found a new one for the living room...which of course required us to buy new throw pillows at Target for the couches to tie it all together. (And I had to pick up some long sleeve onesies for the ninja to wear underneath all the short sleeve ones I ended up with. It IS fall. :)

At any rate, after having a hand shoved up my babymaker and all the walking/standing today...I'm beat. Especially since I only had about 3 hours of sleep last night, thanks to cervix punches and Vincent the gallbladder being a douche. The hubs is having a night out (well deserved) with his phone well within reach. I'm a little ascurred of something happening tonight considering the events of the day, but hopefully the ninja will at least make it through the weekend. My parents are planning on being here next weekend...or sooner if need be.

I just can't believe I'm already this dilated...and not in the hospital choking a nurse because my epidural isn't here yet. Certainly gives new meaning to the phrase "Everyone's different!"

36 weeks.

2009-10-13T15:41:00.000-05:00

How far along? 36 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +29 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Oui oui. These sweatpants are becoming a part of me. As is the couch.
Stretch marks? I'm tired of thinking about them. Not this week.
Sleep: I have good nights and bad. Last night was bad.
Best moment this week: My shower! So fun - I love my friends. And getting all the essentials for the munchkin.
Movement: Still practicing ninja rolls.
Food cravings: A magic coke from McDonalds!
Gender: Still no idea.
Labor Signs: Contractions are changing slightly, getting more crampy...but not every contraction is like that. This is a long and weird process.
Belly Button in or out? It's just gross.
What I miss: Being able to be on my feet without feeling like I'm about to drop a bowling ball between my legs.
What I am looking forward to: My appointment Friday...and just making it another week!
Weekly Wisdom: It's never to early to be 100% prepared.
Milestones: The baby's room is nearly 100% complete!

Oh well, I tried!

2009-10-13T15:32:00.000-05:00

The finalists were revealed for the Best Pregnancy Blog award, and alas, I was not included.

But I encourage you to vote for your favs - Blair and The 818 are both good e-friends, so I encourage you to vote for one of them!

Vote for Mommy Blog Awards here.

Baby shower madness!

2009-10-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

Ha - not really. I did have my baby shower yesterday...my second one...and last one before baby arrives. It was so nice to get cleaned up, put in contacts, wear jeans and makeup and get out of the house! It was super fun, and so nice to see my girls. I feel like a friendless shut-in anymore, so talking to my friends face to face was awesome. I got lots of beautiful gifts and I'm feeling more prepared for a baby now than ever.

The hubs and his mom went to Babies R Us after the shower to buy the essential things we still hadn't received...and boy was it spendy. Of course, the car seat I wanted wasn't available at the store they went to, and the other store in the metro was out as well, so I ordered it via their website. It's supposed to be here any time between Thursday and next Monday. I'm hoping it gets here before the baby does! We're ready in nearly every other aspect!!

The nursery is SO CLOSE to being ready to show off. I have a little bit more cleaning up to do, but I got some pictures hung, the mattress is in the crib, as is the now clean bedding...changing pad in place...all that's really left is the shelves, which were a staining FAIL this weekend. I'll try to take some pics in the next few days.

I'm putting my money on this happening sometime next week...maybe like a week from Friday. So weird to think we'll have a baby in our house! Honestly though, I feel so much more ready just knowing we at least have the bare minimum of what we'll need to get by. At least, I think we do!

And I think we've settled on a girls name too. We'll see about that. The boy name has still stuck. I'm just waiting for the hubs to change his mind on the girl name. :)

Saturday morning randoms.

2009-10-10T10:46:00.000-05:00

Let me start this post out by saying I woke up to a decent dusting of snow this morning. Mind you - I woke up at 10am and it was still on the ground. Now it's 10:40 - temp check? 28 degrees. Windchill of 17 degrees. ON OCTOBER 10TH. Granted I am on bedrest and don't really need to leave the house, but I never did find a coat to fit me. None of Josh's fit either. So, I'll be sporting the unbuttonable coat tomorrow at my shower...hopefully it warms up next week a little more so I'm not totally screwed. :)

As far as Labor Watch 2009 goes - I've had some changes in contractions - I've been getting some cramping in my lower abdomen now with the braxton hicks, which makes me think they're getting a little more serious. Nothing I can't deal with - they still don't really hurt...just uncomfy. C'mon little ninja - I just want to make it through this weekend!

I've got my hospital bag about 70% packed...just missing a few small, less essential items. And I actually washed baby blankets the other day, and a going home outfit! (Don't be fooled, there's still about 7 billion things left on my list of things I wanted to get done before the baby is here. And about 3 weeks less time to do it in!)

Weekly cervix status.

2009-10-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

Here's the stats:

Mucus Plug - gone. (Sorry, no photos to post. You're all bummed, I know it.)
Dilated - 3cm (no change)
Effaced - 80% (thinner than last week)
Bedrest - till the end (which he assumes will be anytime between now and 2 weeks from now)
Measuring - AHEAD! more like 37 weeks.

Midwife John says he thinks my labor signs will go something like they always tell you it won't go - a big gush of water. He thinks since I've been having contrax for so long I can't rely on them as a sure sign of labor, and that since I'm dilated already, his educated guess is I'll experience the gigantic gush of my water breaking. (EEEE!)

Obviously it could go the other way too, but he said I'm in the home stretch, pretty much. November isn't even in the picture anymore. October is a good month to have a baby I guess. :)

I went to Target after my appointment to get some stuff for the hospital bag...and I'm paying the price now. Well, and from the internal too, I'm sure. My pelvis is on the verge of shattering. Awesomesauce.

So, that's it for now! My shower is on Sunday, which my great friends are throwing for me, and after that shower, the hubs is planning on heading to Babies R Us to buy any necessities that we don't have so we can be totally prepared at any point for this munchkin to come! Midwife John says that I'll more than likely be bringing this baby home right away after I have it, so we need to be prepared!

And don't forget to wager a guess in the baby pool if you haven't already...or maybe change your guess if you've already made one!

35 weeks.

2009-10-06T14:10:00.000-05:00

How far along? 35 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +29 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Indeed. I was reduced to wearing the hubs' track pants and teeshirts over the past couple of days due to a ton of dirty laundry.
Stretch marks? I'm waiting for my stomach to erupt. It's still pristine. My thighs though. MY GOD.
Sleep: I'm sleeping well. The hubs? Not so much. I've turned into a snorer. Thirty extra pounds will do that to a girl. I HATE that I snore. I might be on the couch until this munchkin is here.
Best moment this week: NOT having an outside baby, yet.
Movement: Yep. The babe really responds when the hubs talks to it. So cute.
Food cravings: A magic coke from McDonalds and chocolate cake...again.
Gender: No idea. I'm at a loss again.
Labor Signs: Yeah, unfortch. Bedrest and hopefully still at 3cm.
Belly Button in or out? Staying flat for the time being.
What I miss: Being able to enjoy pregnancy, and not being dilated.
What I am looking forward to: My appointment on Thursday. I want news that nothing has changed.
Weekly Wisdom: PACK YOUR HOSPITAL BAG!
Milestones: I guess being dilated is a milestone. Not one I wanted this early.

For the strong, here's a bare belly pic. Don't say I didn't warn you.

How YOU doin?

2009-10-04T13:25:00.000-05:00

Me? I'm okay. Had kind of a rough night of crampiness at 4am and mild anxiety due to said cramps. I'm already at wit's end with not knowing what's going on...whether any given cramps or pains might actually be labor or my body just being a jerk. I took a bath a little over an hour ago to ease the cramps, which helped...but now I'm back to being uncomfortable. While in the bath I started to get mad and upset about this whole situation. I'm upset with my body for not allowing me to enjoy what should be the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I'm mad that I've had to deal with contractions for nearly 4 months. I'm pissed that this bedrest is technically taking time away from my maternity leave after the baby is here. Having to worry about everything is what makes me most upset. I know that being calm and relaxed helps me to not have contractions and whatnot, but how can I be relaxed when I know what could be happening inside me?

::sigh::

Alright, time to get back to watching the Twins game I was supposed to be at with the hubs. He's there with one of his friends, which I insisted he do...because ONE of us should at least be there. (I will say, laying on the couch IS more comfy than the crappy plastic seats at the Dome, but my heart is breaking. Didn't know I was such a baseball fan, did you?)

Oooooo, you are SO GROUNDED.

2009-10-02T11:56:00.000-05:00

I'm writing this post from my hospital bed, hoping for word that I'll be sent home soon...like this afternoon, maybe.

Long story short -

Yesterday I went to my appointment and received my weekly internal...and for the first time - was dilated. The MW I saw figured me to be a "stretchy 4cm" and off to Labor & Delivery I went.

They strapped me to a monitor and IV and I had to stay the night. The hubs was with me the whole time...even went home to get the laptop, camera (just in case) and a few other items.And slept in the poorest excuse for a bed I've ever seen. (Not that mine was any better!)

I was rechecked this morning. It was the most PAINFUL internal I've ever had (did he have the Freddy Krueger glove on or something?) but he determined I'm really more like 3cm, but no change really since the night before.

John the midwife seems to think that I should be able to go home this afternoon (although original plan was another night of observations). I told him that in all honesty, I felt no different prior to this appointment...and I had been SUPER active this past week, what with the hubs being laid up and all. He knows that I know my body, and when the contractions start being more real and less like they have been the past nearly 20 weeks. We live a mere 10 minutes from the hospital, so if labor truly begins, we're not that far away.

I am so glad I do not have an outside baby yet. I never lost my shit last night, but while sitting in the tub trying to relax while the hubs was getting some things from home...I suddenly felt like a 15 year old - wondering how I thought I was ready for this, that this couldn't be happening...what had I gotten myself into. But I pulled myself together and reminded myself that this wasn't happening yet. And it isn't...THANK GOD.

Mental note. PACK EFFING HOSPITAL BAG.

Odds and ends.

2009-09-30T10:26:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a post of randoms, because I can't conjure up anything to make a cohesive post. ADD, party of one.

My pelvis is going to break in two. This just started being yet another awesome 3rd Trimester feeling on Monday. I can only assume it's because I chose to take the train for the first time in a few weeks, and since it was 5 o'clock, no one felt the need to get off their lazy ass and offer an 8 months pregnant lady their seat. I then thought it'd be a good idea to stand in the kitchen and make chicken cacciatore. Then my pelvis split in half. And has been ever since. (Not familiar with the pain? You know the horrid pain of a groin pull? It's that. But ALL THE TIME. Awesome, right?)
I got my first prenatal massage over the weekend. It was HEAVENLY. It also went by too quickly. They have this pregnancy pillow that allows the belleh to be cushioned and supported while I get to LAY ON MY STOMACH. It was the best feeling ever. Like, almost enough where I want to go out and buy my own...even if I only use it for 4 more weeks because the sensation of not having any weight on my back was EPIC.
The hubs is still on the mend. We spent a good portion of the pre-daylight hours in the ER on Saturday morning since his kidney doc - let's refer to him as Dr. Douchebag - refused to give him enough paid meds to last the weekend. I have never seen my husband in that amount of pain EVER...and I hope to never see it again. But, the docs and nurses at the hospital (the one I'll be delivering at) were the bees knees and did everything they could to make him free of pain and determine why he was in so much pain. They'd accomplished in a little over 5 hours more than Dr. Douchebag had done in a week. Anyway - the hubs is slowly getting better and his spirits are better too, which is most important! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dear!
The cat has found his way into the crib. This is something I'm not pleased with, but mostly need to blame myself for. My crowning achievement of assembling the IKEA shelves for the baby's room has resulted in our jerky cat Boo-boo now having a launching pad into the crib...where before he couldn't haul his fat ass over the railing. So, I must move the shelves away from the crib, which makes me sad because I LIKE where they are now and don't WANNA put them on the other wall. I'm considering buying balloons and attempting the "balloon + cat claws = scurred cat" trick to see if that helps.

So that's your midweek update. :) Enjoy.

34 weeks.

2009-09-29T09:10:00.001-05:00

How far along? 34 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +27 lbs. (I was off last week - finally asked a nurse at the clinic and OFFICIALLY I'm up 27 lbs.)
Maternity clothes? Yes. And this morning, when it was 42 degrees, I dealt with wearing a thin cardigan and a scarf.
Stretch marks? I don't want to talk about it.
Sleep: The past week has been a nightmare with the hubs kidney ailment, but it's getting better again. Although I was up 3 times to pee.
Best moment this week: Getting the blinds up in the nursery and finally assembling the shelves I bought at IKEA.
Movement: Lots of squirms and rolls.
Food cravings: This week I would REALLY love a sausage biscuit from McDonalds. It's got something like 65% of your daily total of saturated fat in it though. My gallbladder says NO.
Gender: Who knows. I'm still more interested in seeing what this kid looks like!
Labor Signs: Not really anything new.
Belly Button in or out? Starting to somehow get a little bit of an outtie.
What I miss: Not feeling like my pelvis is going to rip apart when I sit or walk.
What I am looking forward to: Still looking forward to the hubs feeling 100% better. He's getting there. Slowly.
Weekly Wisdom: This morning I officially declared in my head that I missed the second trimester. SAVOR IT. LOVE IT.
Milestones: Apparently this kid weighs 5 lbs now. Maybe that's why my crotch is going to break wide open any minute now?

I'll try not to let it get to me.

2009-09-25T10:45:00.003-05:00

Comment from extremely nice coworker that I see every day who probably didn't understand how it came across to an overly hormonal pregnant lady:

Hey! You're finally starting to look pregnant, huh?

Uh...yeah. Actually, as far as I'm concerned, I've been looking pregnant for a long time. Maybe even a couple months. So...what happened yesterday or last week that suddenly I "look pregnant?"

Maybe it's because this child insists upon head-butting my cervix today and is causing me to walk funny? Maybe because I'm wearing a white shirt today and thus look like the side of a building? I guess I'll never know. But...thanks for noticing that I finally look pregnant. In a month when I'm forced to shuffle at 1 mph to the bathroom every 20 minutes, I wonder what it is I'll look like then.

Because I have no shame.

2009-09-22T21:01:00.002-05:00

There's a couple badges on the right that I would just be tickled pink if you'd click. In fact, just to make things easier - I'll add them to this post. :)

This is just a listing of a bunch of baby blogs - but the more clicks from my site...the higher rating I get! It's that simple. Plus, a few of my bloggy friends are listed here as well and you should probably check out their sites too.

I don't stand a chance in hell of winning this one since Blair has the majority of the Bump brainwashed, but I wouldn't mind trying. (Nothin but love, Ms Blair.) This one requires you to have a login to the Bump.

And finally, with the worst graphic on the planet - it's your chance to place a bet as to the specifics of the Ninja's arrival - gender, weight, birthday - the works. Give it a shot! In fact, I'll have a little prize at the end for who is the closest. Place your bets!

Aside from being a vote whore, I've been tending to the hubs all day (he's been dealing with kidney stones and the associated pain), which I think I've been doing an okay job at...aside from when I thought I was going to have to knock him out because he was in so much pain. He doesn't deal with pain very well. (You know I love you dear.) I'll show him when I'm a model patient when pushing a human being out my vadge in a few weeks. (Did you hear the sarcasm there? I'm pretty sure I'm going to make his tolerance today look like a million bucks.)

Tomorrow I have yet another internal check, and birthing class number four. Thursday night I will have the house to myself for the first time in a while, and I plan on watching The Office and maybe a few of my Sex & The City DVDs, coupled with a glass of fake Chardonnay. A throwback to my days of yore. And Saturday, I scheduled an hour massage. I cannot effing WAIT.

33 weeks.

2009-09-21T20:31:00.001-05:00

How far along? 33 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +30 lbs. Some of it is in my face, for sure.
Maternity clothes? Indeedy. Please welcome the new member of the family - maternity leggings, on the left. Also the second round of new bra buying as well.
Stretch marks? Stomach still stretchie free - thighs are now considered a lost cause. I'll never wear short shorts again.
Sleep: I've had a couple of better nights under my belt.
Best moment this week: Getting through another week with no progress!
Movement: A couple rib kicks, for once. And more cervix headbutting.
Food cravings: Still sweets. And I would REALLY love a hamburger from McDonalds.
Gender: *sigh* Now I don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just wishing girl?
Labor Signs: The rest is helping the fake labor pains I've been having.
Belly Button in or out? Who cares - it's GROSS.
What I miss: Sushi and white wine. Together.
What I am looking forward to: The hubs feeling better. It's hard having two of us being uncomfortable!
Weekly Wisdom: None. Pregnancy causes snoring. And it SUCKS.
Milestones: Halfway done with birthing classes. Eeep!

The Fruit: Weeks 33-36 (Month 8)

2009-09-21T17:02:00.002-05:00

Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month.

I'm not the first to say it.

2009-09-21T06:51:00.003-05:00

Lady Gaga - you're trying too hard. Seriously. We know you're "different."

My bad.

2009-09-17T14:51:00.000-05:00

Turns out we left our camera at the in-laws during my birthday dinner on Tuesday night, so I wasn't able to take a new belly pic. Whoops. I tried though! I was even going to take it in my new work clothes so my mom could see how they're holding up with my ever growing belly. (Hi Mom!)

I ended up going to the doc this morning instead of tomorrow morning because I had some concerns about the pressure I was feeling, as well as the hot flashes my contractions have begun to cause. The verdict? Everything's still the same. Baby's still head down, but will "float up" when pushed, cervix still thick, not dilated, but soft...which is their only concern. Weekly appointments are still on the books from here on out. I'm supposed to continue with the increased laying on the side...and they're not going to test me again for the fFN protein because in their eyes, with all my contractions and irritable uterus, I'm on their "slightly high risk radar" regardless.

And in Birthing Class news - we had our third class last night, which included another tour of the Birthplace at our hospital. I paid attention a lot more during this tour than our first tour (I think in April) and everything got a lot more real. It made me want to pack my hospital bag (which is on my list) just in case...

Today is panic day.

2009-09-16T10:41:00.000-05:00

Usually, once a week or so (maybe every other week) I have a day where I randomly begin to panic about all the stuff I still have to do to get ready for this baby. I start making a shitty mental list of these items, and by the evening they've all since been forgotten because LOOK! TWO FULL HOURS OF FAMILY GUY ON TBS! Then, a week or so later the cycle continues.

So, I've committed myself to making a list - a real list - that I can carry with me, of all the things I have to do before this ninja/smudge/bebeh arrives.

As a side note - I'll like to sit down and talk to my frenemy - Sleep.

Listen up, Sleep. I know you and I really haven't been getting along well the past week or so. I know that my bladder makes most of the decisions around these parts - and you're not to blame. However...this whole "no position is comfortable so you may as well sleep in the closet on a pile of blankets" thing we've got going on isn't working...FOR ANYONE. I realized last night that what I thought was pregnancy induced carpal tunnel like symptoms is more than likely me sleeping with my hands balled into fists for some reason or another. Why, you ask? Who the eff knows. (Maybe because I'm waiting for you to show your ugly face so I can beat it to a pulp.) Also, my hips almost exploded out of their sockets overnight last night, despite the usage of a fafillion different kinds of pillows. And the boppy wedge that I chose to "wedge" behind my back in order to avoid rolling onto my back? Only made everything way WAY worse.

I dread nighttime now. I'm always so tired, and I look at our bed and I just want to cry. (Do you hear that Sleep? You're making a pregnant woman cry. You may as well off a couple puppies while you're at it.)

That is all.

(Tonight, I'll get a belly pic. Promise.)

32 weeks.

2009-09-15T09:37:00.000-05:00

How far along? 32 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: +27 lbs, I think.
Maternity clothes? Yep. And I've grown out of some of the stuff I bought just 3-4 months ago. SCARY.
Stretch marks? Allow me a moment to address the stretchies. YOU DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INVADE MY OTHER BOOB. *sigh* But, stomach is still stretchie free. THANK GOD.
Sleep: Past few nights have been the worst I've had. Up 2-4 times a night to pee, cannot get comfy, and this morning woke up with what I can only assume is the classic pregnancy induced carpal tunnel in my right hand.
Best moment this week: My birthday! I did exactly what I wanted to do, and the hubs gave me the most beautiful diamond stud earrings! My first pair of diamond earrings!!
Movement: Oui.
Food cravings: The hubs got me the cake I've been craving. Now I'm back to craving whatever won't set off the gallbladder alarm.
Gender: I'm still leaning girl.
Labor Signs: This past week has been better, still having BHs but keeping them in check.
Belly Button in or out? Flat as all get-out.
What I miss: Stomach sleeping and being able to help out around the house. The guilt I have while watching the hubs do everything is out of control.
What I am looking forward to: My next appointment. I'd like more confirmation everything's okay.
Weekly Wisdom: Eat small meals! I think wolfing down tacos and rice last night is what induced my uncomfortableness.
Milestones: I turned 29. :)

Birthdays - pre-pregnancy and pregnancy.

2009-09-14T10:34:00.002-05:00

This is a photo of me yesterday on my 29th birthday, enjoying a virgin Bloody Mary on the St. Croix river in Stillwater. After an afternoon spent in antique stores and window shopping, this was the perfect next step - Virgin Mary's and dinner. We followed this up with cake from Woullet's and a couple scoops of ice cream at home.

Below is a photo of me on my 28th birthday. I am the one behind the shirtless Taylor Hicks look-a-like getting my freak on. (That's my friend Mandy in the front.) This all took place at a lovely establishment known as The Gay 90's - a gay friendly club in Minneapolis with the BEST DRAG SHOW EVER (don't let anyone tell you otherwise). I was drunk off my skull and had the time of my life.

Both of these birthday goings-on were my choice, and exactly what I wanted to do on that given day. The difference a year can make. Oh, and gestating a human being making my 29th the most sober birthday I've had in nearly a decade.

(Make no mistake - 30 will be an earth shattering event. We WILL be getting a babysitter.) :)

Cervix status, again.

2009-09-11T10:14:00.002-05:00

And, best pre-birthday news ever - nothing has changed! Still not dilated, but soft, thick and closed.

The midwife I saw today said just keep doing what you're doing and continue to relax as much as possible. I have another appointment in a week with John the Midwife to get checked again, but I'm still feeling pretty good and optimistic that everything's going to be fine and I'll probably go overdue in the end. :)

To celebrate, I day dreamed about a Sausage Biscuit from McD's on my way to work this morning. And, instead of indulging in what might have been nothing short of a food-gasm, I had a blueberry muffin and a cup of fruit.

(I'm not scurred to admit that discussing the Sausage Biscuit is making my mouth water. BADLY.)

And in totally different news, the hubs and I have OFFICIALLY agreed on a boy name. For real this time. It's settled and set in stone, as far as I'm concerned. Now to work on a girl's name. And sorry to say, but along with the sex of the baby, this one will also be a surprise for the big day. Lo siento.

Foul language be damned!

2009-09-10T13:18:00.000-05:00

Ninja rolls. from jenna bee on Vimeo.

Yeah, there's some swears in this video. But to make it worth your while, there's also Boo-boo the jerkiest cat in town, my monkey toes, and America's Funniest Home Videos in the background. Worth your 30 seconds, for sure.

Thursday musings.

2009-09-10T11:15:00.001-05:00

I jumped the gun on Twitter/Facebook and said that I'm now 8 months pregnant. Actually, next Tuesday I'll be 8 months pregnant. But...technicalities. I feel 8 months pregnant so I'm going with it.

The past couple days I've been feeling okay. Today I feel okay too. A little crampy last night, and a little bit of an upset tummy, but I'll attribute that to lack of relaxing. (We had birthing class #2 last night.) I'm starting to not be so paranoid, and I'm becoming more positive that I'm going to make it to the end without too much dilating, bedrest or pre-term labor. I don't know why, but I feel like that test was a fluke. Maybe I'm just being uber optimistic. Or maybe, like SC Rep Joe Wilson likes to charge - "You lie."

I met with an HR rep today who explained my leave benefits and short term disability blah blah to me. It's confusing, to say the least, but I feel like I understand it much more now. The sad part is that if I should happen to go on bedrest, my time off will come out of the 12 week FMLA business, decreasing the amount of time I would get with the babe after I deliver. I could get an extension, but it needs to be approved by my boss (which I don't think would be a problem) but it makes me sad, none the less. I'm VERY determined to work till the end...no matter when the end might be.

Tomorrow morning is my next internal. Again, very optimistic that there's been no change since Tuesday. I'll let y'all know what the results are when I have a chance.

Cervix Status.

2009-09-08T20:09:00.000-05:00

My appointment didn't exactly answer too many questions, but I'm pretty sure my cervix did change over the weekend. This is basically what the MW said in a nutshell.

She said that there's two layers (or openings) to the cervix, and that she was able to get a finger through the first but the second was closed. She said I was soft but thick, and the baby was at -3. She said she would expect to see this kind of cervix in a woman that was more like 34-36 weeks along. (The MW I saw on Thursday seemed to imply that my cervix was right where it should be for a 30 weeker.) So, I don't know if I am officially dilated, but I have another appointment early Friday morning where I will get checked again. She thinks I have an irritable uterus, or something of that sort. Baby was good, heart rate in the 140s...ute was measuring on track.

Since I pretty much just sit at my desk all day, she said she wasn't recommending bedrest, but if I have a lot of contractions in the evening or morning before work, that I should probably stay home.

So...still, no drastic measures, nothing alarming, but they're definitely keeping a stronger eye on me. It's all just annoying now.

A recap of 4 days of couch laying.

2009-09-08T11:35:00.001-05:00

Well, the obnoxious news that I tested positive for fFN was enough to put me on lots of rest, even if my midwife said "just don't do anything out of the ordinary." After talking to my mom & the hubs, we all determined that my "ordinary" is way more than most people's (I can't sit still anymore) so, I did a lot of couch and bed laying...and a little bit of walking around. The result? Lots of morning contractions (timable to nearly 3-5 minutes apart at times) and evening cramping...which was at it's worst on Friday night, and had another bout of on Saturday night. It's kind of scary- the cramping feels like menstrual cramps, but it radiates into my upper legs (which I read in What to Expect can be a sign of pre-term labor). The Midwife on call on Friday night recommended a bath and going to bed. It was 8:30pm. So, I took a bath and reassumed the position on the couch. I felt better.

Overall, the weekend was mostly without alarms, but I'm totally on high-alert and it sucks. I was able to get in today to get checked again to make sure nothing is happening, no progress is being made (instead of waiting until Friday which was the earliest I could get in before). That will ease my mind. I'm pretty hopeful that I'm not dilating...but if I AM, I want them to start intervening NOW. I can't go the next 7-9 weeks worrying daily that any contractions or cramping are dilating me and putting me more at risk of pre-term labor.

Good news is, the baby seems to be okay through all this - still moving and hiccuping like normal. I'd still wish they'd take a peek inside via ultrasound so I could get that reassurance as well...but I'll take what I can get at this point. Well wishes and prayers are still being accepted! I'm hoping I don't need them. :)

31 weeks.

2009-09-08T09:53:00.001-05:00

How far along? 31 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Up 25ish lbs or so.
Maternity clothes? Casual summer ended today, so I'm wearing my maternity style work pants, thanks to Mom! (I got 2 pair of pants and 3 shirts for my B-day, which is Sunday!)
Stretch marks? Belly is stretchie free!
Sleep: A little better. Was up twice last night to pee, and had my first kick that actually woke me up. That was new. :)
Best moment this week: I'm going to go ahead and say NOT going into labor over the weekend.
Movement: Oui.
Food cravings: (I'm going to leave this up because it still stands.) I would like a big slice of marble cake with vanilla frosting. (My birthday IS in 5 days. *cough*getmeacakejosh*cough*)
Gender: I'm back to girl. My Dad and MIL are the only ones thinking boy. Maybe Josh too.
Labor Signs: See below. *sigh*
Belly Button in or out? Flat as all get-out.
What I miss: Not being scared of going into labor.
What I am looking forward to: Getting checked again. I might be the only lady on the planet who's stoked about getting an internal. That...and making it to at LEAST 35 weeks.
Weekly Wisdom: If something doesn't feel right - call or head to the doc. It can't hurt.
Milestones: Making it one more week is a milestone enough. :)

Call me now for a free reading, dahrlin'!

2009-09-04T09:49:00.001-05:00

Maybe I'm more in tune to my body than I think. Maybe I AM in fact, Ms Cleo's less-Jamaican intern.

I finally went to the doc yesterday because I was having a leaking sensation (again), and the midwife checked everything out and everything seemed good. He attributed the leaking sensation to the ridiculous amount of discharge I had. (gross) The tests he ran against it showed it wasn't amniotic fluid, and that my cervix was still thick and tight, but the baby's head was rightthere on my cervix. (PS - that makes my second internal - BOOO). He ran the test for the protein released when contractions are "going to work" and said he'd only call me if it came back positive, but that he didn't anticipate that happening since everything looked good.

He just said to take it easy and come back in a couple weeks for my normal appointment.

And then at 8:00pm last night he called. The test came back positive. He said this test result means I have a slight chance of going into labor in the next two weeks. BUT he also said I could go full term, too. So, he basically said I have to come in next week for another internal, and I shouldn't do anything out of the ordinary. Bed rest not required. If the BHs get close together again I need to come in and get hooked up to the monitors. He really was surprised that it came back positive. He said NOTHING from his exam pointed to this test coming back positive. He didn't think steroid shots were necessary at this point (to mature the baby's lungs).

(This is the webpage explaining the test.)

It seems like a lot of women have this test and still carry their babies to full term, but I'm still freaked out. I took today off so I could just lay and rest anyway...and I plan on doing that a lot this weekend. I'm still having contractions, and of course, they're more uncomfortable than before, but I'm hoping that's just because I had a dude's hand up my vag for like, 10 minutes yesterday.

I was totally fine and being the calm one about it until I called my mom last night to tell her and then I cried like a baby. I'm not ready for an outside baby yet. AT ALL. Esp at this point.

But, it's really kind of out of my hands. The whole pregnancy really is. I'm doing all I can to keep this baby healthy and inside...and if my body wants to be a jerk and send me into pre-term labor, then it will. Of course, I'll still fight it till the end to keep this baby inside, but I can't control anything. Which is a really shitty feeling.

Thoughts, prayers, good vibes - whatever you have to offer would be appreciated. I'l take what I can get at this point to keep this baby inside.

This will be random.

2009-09-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

I'm going through a weird time with this pregnancy...filled with odd anxieties and excitement. Maybe it's just par for the course at this point in the 9 months...but yeah...freaking myself out.

I have this irrational fear that something is wrong. That I'm somehow leaking amniotic fluid or that the baby has developed some weird issue. Do I have anything to back up these feelings? No. Not really. I'm thinking it's mostly due to the insane amount of braxton hicks I'm having and the fact that I haven't technically seen the baby for 2.5 months. I'm all worried that I'm going to go into labor like, tomorrow. Again...unfounded. I'm worried that my belly doesn't seem to have gotten any bigger in the past couple of weeks.

I don't have another appointment until the 17th. I don't know if I can wait that long to have someone reassure me that everything looks okay.

In other, less stressful news - our first birthing class is at 6:30 tonight. HOLY CRAP. And the baby's room is coming along quite well. Still waiting to take some more pictures until a couple more prints have been hung.

30 weeks.

2009-09-01T10:28:00.002-05:00

How far along? 30 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Still about + 25 lbs, give or take a pound.
Maternity clothes? Yup. And my fav maternity jeans are getting a little tight. NOOOOOO!
Stretch marks? What stretch marks? (Still refusing to look at my thighs.)
Sleep: HORRID. The steady decline of comfort hath officially begun. I'm now sleeping with 3 down pillows, a body pillow and the boppy belly wedge.
Best moment this week: Seeing my parents!!!
Movement: Yes. The hubs got to see some pretty crazy stuff last night.
Food cravings: I would like a big slice of marble cake with vanilla frosting. (My birthday IS in 12 days. *cough*getmeacakejosh*cough*)
Gender: Most are leaning girl. I'm just going to stay neutral until the end.
Labor Signs: Effing Braxton Hicks. Hate you. HATE.
Belly Button in or out? Both. And it's starting to look gross.
What I miss: Not having sciatica when I walk and an awesome night's sleep.
What I am looking forward to: A full day at the State Fair!
Weekly Wisdom: Even if you feel like superwoman while pregnant...REST. Rest often and for long periods of time. I haven't been and I pay the price for it frequently.
Milestones: Uh, holy crap. Only 10 MORE WEEKS. (70 DAYS PEOPLE.)

Get your mumps out of my face.

2009-08-31T14:53:00.003-05:00

Last night, while chatting with the hubs and sister-in-law, and then while perusing the 2010 Ikea catalog (many earmarks were made, let me tell you) - I half-watched the Dateline special called "A Dose of Controversy" about vaccinations, autism, and the he-said she-said war of who's right.

A statement given by the American Academy of Pediatrics to Dateline pretty much sums up why I WILL be vaccinating my child. Specifically:

While it is likely that there are many environmental factors that influence the development of autism, vaccines are not the cause of autism. We know this because many careful and repeated studies show no link between vaccines and autism. Specifically, numerous studies have refuted Andrew Wakefield’s theory that MMR vaccine is linked to bowel disorders and autism. Every aspect of Dr. Wakefield’s theory has been disproven.

Don't get me wrong, I am concerned about Autism and the possibility of my child developing it. However, it's sounding more and more like a genetic defect (which one study says possibly develops sometime in the 2nd trimester) and at this point, may be unavoidable. In the meantime, since almost all studies show that there is NO LINK between childhood vaccines and Autism, I will have my kids vaccinated. It's more important now than ever to have your kids vaccinated since so many parents are NOT vaccinating their children, exposing EVERYONE to the possibility of any number of diseases and infections that haven't been widespread for years, like whooping cough and measles.

It's a very sensitive subject with parents, and one I would probably leave on the shelf among strangers (like religion and politics) because people's mind's are usually pretty made up on the topic. I will not try to convince someone otherwise if they choose to not vaccinate. I WILL protect my child from those people's children by vaccinating them.

In less controversial news, I'd like to give a shout out to my sciatic nerve for ruining my day.

Was that a Mack truck? Oh wait - it was just the weekend.

2009-08-30T16:53:00.009-05:00

This weekend was a good one for sure, but completely wiped me out. We got so much done, spent a lot of time with my parents, and had a lot of fun. However, I am paying the price today. And last night. I paid the price last night too.

Anyway - we started the weekend out with a De La Soul concert at First Avenue on Thursday night, and after that wrapped up, headed to the hotel where my parents would be staying.

Friday, the hubs and I cleaned up the house, and once my parents arrived, my dad and I installed a ceiling fan/light fixture in the baby's room. And we did it - we powered it up and it worked without smoking or blowing up. (High-five, Dad!) It looks pretty nice. I'll take some more pics when we have a little more done. Friday night we went to a bar/restaurant in Northeast and then called it a night.

Saturday, my mom and I went to the Mall of America where she purchased early birthday gifts for me - work (maternity) clothes. The passing of labor day means no more "casual summer" at my job. Le sad. But now, I am set. Like my mom said - hopefully I don't get put on bedrest or something and can actually use those clothes for the rest of my pregnancy! Saturday evening we went to the state fair, walked and ate tons of food, watched The Wailers play. I also froze to death. It was about 57 degrees...at 9:30 at night...at the end of August. Gotta love Minnesota weather. Anyway, contractions started up like the weekend before, and I had to get home. Once home, I reclined on the couch where my body pretty much gave up on itself, and every muscle ached. My dear hubs ran a bath for me (the first I've taken since being pregnant) and it was HEAVEN. It really helped. But, sleeping was another matter. I couldn't get comfortable and my whole body was cramping up. I'll assume it was rebellion for the miles I walked in both the mall and the fair. In any case, I slept pretty shitty.

Today we had breakfast with my parents and then they left. It was sad, but I think I was too tired/achy to cry. I don't know if I'll see them again before the baby's here...we're going to try for them to come again in October. Anyway - I've pretty much been parked on the couch since then, sleeping and relaxing, something I haven't done in a while.

And, to round out this post to be the LONGEST EVER...I have a gallbladder update. This is where I get red faced and slightly embarrassed. The thought occurred to me last week that maybe the constant rib pain on my right side was caused by something else. I always felt better in the mornings, and some evenings...and (get this) whenever I would wear a sports bra. So, I moved my bra to the next loosest hooks.

The pain went away.

I am Jack's complete and utter embarrassment.

Granted, I still get occasional pains here and there, but the constant ache I was experiencing is gone. I'm so relived, but still trying to eat a lower fat diet to get everything under control.

Later...or tomorrow, I'm going to post about the Dateline special on (right now) about vaccines and autism.

I'm feeling ballsy.

2009-08-26T20:37:00.005-05:00

Therefore, internets...I've decided to post a bare belly picture.

Forgive me.

THE HORROR.

(as I type this, the ninja is working through it's 4th bout of hiccups today. Poor lil' ninja.)

Heartache and tears...

2009-08-25T13:45:00.003-05:00

Last night, a fellow baby-gestator posted this and little did I know it was in regards to a mutual e-friend from thebump.com.

Today, this e-friend made her own post regarding what happened last night, and for the first time, I cried for someone I've never technically met. Mere minutes after telling a friend that I was "so over being pregnant" and "ready for an outside baby" (you know, not really but ready for it to be November) - I get this news. No one should ever have to go through this, and it breaks my heart.

I am so grateful that my pregnancy, for the most part - has been free of problems and concerns. I am so grateful that I was able to conceive naturally AND quickly. Most of all, I am just thankful that I am pregnant. I really and truly am. I may bitch about it (a lot), but I love every minute of it and wouldn't trade it for anything.

The world truly sucks sometimes. If you pray or have a way to send good thoughts to someone, please do. I'm sure she and her family could use a lot right now.

29 weeks.

2009-08-25T09:39:00.003-05:00

How far along? 29 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About + 25 lbs, give or take a pound.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Yes indeed. My "large shirts" (non-maternity) I bought earlier in the pregnancy are starting to not be so large anymore.
Stretch marks? I can't bare to even look at my thighs anymore. So I'll continue to enjoy my stretchie free tummy.
Sleep: Not so good the past few nights. Cannot get comfortable. Where can I put my arms where they won't fall asleep?!
Best moment this week: Hmmm. I guess NOT going into labor at the cabin was pretty cool.
Movement: Yes'm.
Food cravings: Everything high fat. EVERYTHING. I always want what I can't have...
Gender: EVERYONE and their mom says girl. This week I'm kind of leaning boy again.
Labor Signs: See a couple posts below. The BH are fighting with my gallbladder to see which can be more annoying.
Belly Button in or out? Both. (And yes, it's totally possible.)
What I miss: Junk food. Specifically those donuts pictured below. All I did was think about them just now, and my mouth is watering.
What I am looking forward to: My parents visiting this weekend!!
Weekly Wisdom: Gallbladders are annoying.
Milestones: Turned the corner into the 7th month!!

The Fruit: 29-32 weeks (Month 7)

2009-08-25T09:33:00.003-05:00

Yeah, that's a squash.

Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments.

In all honesty, I haven't felt kicks to the ribs yet. Is that weird? Maybe because I'm too busy holding onto the ribs on my right side for fear of my gallbladder blowing through them.

So this pregnant lady takes a weekend trip to the north woods...

2009-08-23T20:09:00.002-05:00

Alright, I knew that going on a weekend 5 hours away at 28 weeks might have been a little less than desirable, but I figured better now than in another 4 weeks, right? Right. (Just agree with me.)

For the most part, the drive up was uneventful. I was having a few more Braxton Hicks than normal, but whatever. Old news at this point. We luckily had a room in the cabin owned by a friend...which is awesome considering 12 of our closest friends were also staying at said cabin. So, I made up our beds (bunk beds, I had the top since I was SUPER claustrophobic on the bottom) and enjoyed the day. We made dinner (what I assumed to be low-fat and pro-gallbladder: chicken breasts and potatoes) and later I indulged in just ONE smore. JUST ONE. Not long after this point, the contractions were getting to be annoying and slightly worrisome, so I excused myself and went to lay down with the fafillion pillows I brought with. They wouldn't really calm down, and then my gallbladder started in on the fun. Did I mention the only toilet option was either an outhouse or a portopotty? BECAUSE THAT WAS IT. No flushing toilets. And then...the gallbladder hit. AWESOME. Needless to say, I went back to bed after some QT in the biffy and silently wished my demise to be more quick than was apparently going to play out.

The next day I felt better, gallbladder and contractions were back to normal. We spent the day in the sun and on the boat - it was quite fun. However, by evening, the braxton hicks were back in full swing. I ate dinner (this time, JUST chicken breast, and fruit) and laid on my left side...and nothing was helping. Finally, I called my clinic. I was getting worried - I was getting one every 5-10 minutes...and me being the worst mother-to-be...had NO idea where the closest hospital was should I need to go. I finally talked to the midwife on call and she suggested a hot compress of sorts and more laying down...and no more water. She attributed them to the fact that I had had a HUGE growth spurt in the past month (she kept saying "You gained FIVE POUNDS and FIVE CENTIMETERS in your fundal height" as if I wasn't already aware of this...but apparently it's enough to warrant additional braxton hicks.)

So, I went to bed, and after another full night's sleep - I was better again this morning. And I couldn't have been more excited at the prospect of spending 5 hours in the car because it meant I was THAT much closer to flushing toilets and a bed that's not 4.5 feet off the ground.

I hope you've enjoyed my recap of traveling at 28 weeks with a shitty gallbladder and a uterus that just won't quit. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun...but I'm seriously reconsidering any travel I may have to endure in the next couple of months.

Avocado episode, part II.

2009-08-19T10:31:00.003-05:00

I ended up calling the nurses again yesterday about my pain, and they had me come in.

Before the midwife made his decision as to what was ailing me, he heard my complaints and aches and whatnot, then had me lay down so he could measure me and hear the baby - the old ute is 29cm long (grew by 5cm from a month ago) and he was BAFFLED at how short waisted I am. He said I have less than a foot between my hip and the bottom of my ribcage. (That's not normal?) if I'm not already having aches in my ribs and back, they'll be starting soon because there's no where else for the baby to go. Great. Thanks mom! Just kidding. I know you didn't choose this short-waisted-ness either. Do we blame my grandmother?

Anyway, he said in the end he thinks that it IS my gallbladder being a jerk, but doesn't suspect stones or anything, just acting up with higher fat intake, less space to function and good old hormones throwing off the delicate balance of my organs. He said I just need to officially change my diet and cut out all high fat (or relatively fatty) foods. He wasn't too concerned with the itching (my feet and hands were kind of itchy over the weekend), but said if it's more constant and consistent that I should call in. (See the concern about itchiness of hands and feet here.) But he's pretty secure in the thought that with a lower fat diet that I should be feeling better in no time.

The state fair starts next Thursday. So much for everything on a stick! (He said I can have a pickle on a stick, but what I really want is deep fried pickle slices dipped in ranch dressing. Nom nom nom.)

So, after all that, I ended up getting my Rhogam shot so I don't have to go back in again tomorrow.

I'm hurting again today...just in that spot under my ribs, but dealing. It just sucks...and watching what I eat is REALLY going to suck. Not to sound like "that girl" - but I've never had to watch what I eat. Reading labels is very foreign to me. Although, I discovered that the donuts I bought at the grocery on Sunday may have been hurting me - 55% of daily value of SATURATED FAT in EACH ONE. Ooops. I suppose I could cut those out.

(look at that frosted goodness)

But seriously? Entenmann's chocolate devil's food cake donuts?! They are SO GOOD...eating one is almost worth the pain. Almost.

This is what I found on a website of what to avoid when you have gallbladder issues. It's laughable.

Eggs, pork, onion, fowl, milk, coffee, oranges, grapefruit, corn, beans, nuts, in that order.
Trans fats
Hydrogenated, partially-hydrogenated oils
Margarine
Fried Foods
Saturated fats(even coconut oil until feeling better)
Red meats
Dairy products
Eggs
Coffee, regular or decaf
Chocolate
Ice cream
Black tea
Alcohol, beer, wine, liqueur
Fruit juice
Carbonated water
Tap water
Raddishes and turnips
Cabbage, cauliflower
Colas and all sodas
Oats (for some people)
Wheat
Barley
Rye (although the sour German ryes seem to be less troublesome)
All legumes (beans) as they tend to increase the cholesterol in the bile.
Avoid all artificial sweeteners, sugar, preservatives, refined and bleached foods (like white flour)

So, I can't drink water, juice, milk, tea, coffee or soda. That leaves....what? This list is ridic.

WebMD's article makes more sense. Maybe I'll pay attention to that one instead.

Hypochondriac, party of one.

2009-08-18T11:10:00.003-05:00

So, all weekend I've been experiencing what I've written off to be rib pain. Rib pain is to be expected when you have a tiny human burrowing in your uterus, which is slowly expanding into your abdomen and rib cage.

However, I've realized in the past two days that it's really only in one location - my right upper abdomen. And after MORE consideration, it's the same spot I experienced discomfort during my "avocado" episodes - aka Gallbladder attacks.

I pretty much just sit at my desk all day, holding onto my ribs on my right side. It's not SUPER painful, but enough of an ache to me EFFING ANNOYING and is getting to be a bit of a worry. Today I made sure to stay away from high fat foods, and unless dinner from last night is still somehow plaguing me, I don't understand why I'm in pain today.

Now the decision making time - do I call the doc's office again (I did yesterday and the woman just said to avoid high fat foods, or thought maybe it was just plain old rib pain) and try to have them get me in today or tomorrow? Or just wait it out and talk to the MW on Thursday during my regularly scheduled appointment? I'm leaning towards waiting. The pain isn't stopping me from working, and I'm not nauseated or anything. It's really just more aggravating than anything. Fingers crossed it IS just rib pain and isn't my gallbladder.

28 weeks.

2009-08-17T21:35:00.004-05:00

How far along? 28 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About + 22 lbs, give or take a pound.
Maternity clothes? Uh huh. Although I've aquired a couple dresses from American Apparel that do the trick.
Stretch marks? Thighs are beginning full rebellion. Stomach is still safe.
Sleep: Lots of weird dreams, waking up on back and needing to roll over every time.
Best moment this week: Getting the crib assembled, our 2nd anniversary.
Movement: Oui. Lots of rolls and occasional pokes.
Food cravings: FRUIT.
Gender: Still thinking girl. (Although the room looks more boyish...)
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks chilled out this week a little.
Belly Button in or out? Flattening more and more.
What I miss: After a couple sips of the hub's High Life - REAL BEER.
What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery finalized...which could take the next 12 weeks.
Weekly Wisdom: Be prepared to stand on public transit. Most people could give two shits you're pregnant and carrying an extra 20 pounds...which is super sad.
Milestones: The final 3 months begins now...

The camera is taking crappy pics...sorry it's so damn grainy. I blame lack of flash. Boo is showcased in this photo as well. More finalized nursery pics are up here, as well. Enjoy. (the last 4 photos, to be exact.)

Correction. I WAS a blogging machine.

2009-08-17T14:01:00.002-05:00

Yeah - not much for updates here all of the sudden! Our anniversary dinner was GREAT, I hit up yoga for the first time in like, 2-3 weeks on Wednesday night, and on Thursday night we put together the crib. (It looks super nice!) Over the weekend, we saw a movie, went to the Twins game (and left early due to boredom) and ran some errands on Sunday.

Exciting, no?

Right. No.

Anyway, this week will be busy in it's own respect - tonight, cleaning and laundry. Tomorrow - work and more of the same. Wednesday - work and Yoga. Thursday - work and doc's appointment (rhogam shot - boo!) and Friday morning, leaving for a cabin for the weekend.

28 week update later tonight, with a new picture (and maybe some more nursery pics to go with it).

I'm a ball of creative juices today, can you tell?

I'm a blogging machine.

2009-08-11T09:19:00.004-05:00

Okay - seriously, I know I don't usually post this much. You'll have to deal with not being able to catch up just for now. I'm sure this won't stick for too long. :)

Anyway, I have to be an attention whore for about 3 more minutes and announce two things. One, HOLY CRAP I'M IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER. Do you know what that means? I'm almost done with being pregnant. As in, in 3 months (or less) we'll have an outside baby. I started to think about that last night as I was laying in bed and started to panic. But then, the 5 hours of sleep I had gotten the night before got the best of me and I fell asleep.

And two - it's our second anniversary today! (Everyone breathe a collective "AWWWWWWWW!") That's right, I've been married to my wonderful hubs for 2 years now. I know it's cliché, but it really feels like it was only a few weeks ago that we got married. It's funny too, the weather this week is mimicking the weather when we were married - 90s and hot, sunny and humid. It's a good thing I love this kind of weather. I can't say the same for our wedding guests.

Anyway - what a different two years can make.

August 2007

August 2009

27 weeks.

2009-08-10T22:03:00.004-05:00

How far along? 27 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Still about + 20 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Werd.
Stretch marks? Thigh stretchies have increased. :(
Sleep: Not bad, but arms are falling asleep while I'm sleeping.
Best moment this week: PAINTING THE NURSERY! And getting the furniture - FINALLY.
Movement: Yes. Cervix kicks in the house. SO painful. I had no idea how much it could hurt.
Food cravings: Rainer Cherries.
Gender: Still thinking girl. (Although the room looks more boyish...)
Labor Signs: Lots o' Braxton Hicks, probably forever.
Belly Button in or out? Barely innie.
What I miss: REAL wine. Three glasses of the fake stuff just didn't cut it last night.
What I am looking forward to: Putting the crib together.
Weekly Wisdom: It takes much longer to paint a room thank one might think.
Milestones: Nursery is coming together!

*this week's belly shot features our lone cat Boo-boo, nervously cleaning himself as usual.

A tease if you please.

2009-08-10T20:53:00.002-05:00

You can look at all the new photos of the nursery on my flickr page. (The crib isn't put together yet - I'll add more pics with that when it's done! Probably sometime later this week.)

Nursery Update, Part 2.

2009-08-10T09:18:00.002-05:00

WE HAVE PAINTED WALLS! ::cheers and applause::

It took SO MUCH LONGER than I thought it would, but it's done, and I love the color. My lovely friend Meredith suggested a color for the walls - and without hesitation I purchased a can and began prepping the walls. The color (Benjamin Moore's "Gray Wisp") finally went on the walls on Saturday, after the hubs rolled the primer on. It turned out really well. It looked like a greenish gray while wet, and now looks more of a bluish gray in some light...but will go VERY well with everything we have for the room.

We tried negotiating a pick up of the furniture this weekend, and it was turning into a huge ordeal, so we arranged to have everything delivered...tonight!! (I'M EXCITED - AGAIN.)

And yes (Shannon), I know I'm missing a photo from this past week. It's too late now. :) BUT I will take one tonight to add to my 27 week post tomorrow, as well as the first peek at the not-so-finished nursery.

Nursery update.

2009-08-04T21:43:00.002-05:00

Well, I received the rug in the mail that I ordered from Anthropologie for the ninja's room, and needless to say, I wasn't convinced that it was worth $300. Probably because this five feet in diameter rug came folded up. In a box. THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS. I was expecting a wool rug - thick and worthy of being rolled. But no. So, needless to say, I'll be taking it back tomorrow before yoga. Thank GOD I can return it to a store so I can get my $$ faster.

Other than that...I just bought all painting supplies needed to start transforming the nursery. Primer, rollers, ceiling paint - you name it...I got it. When I got home, I took down the mini-blinds and curtains, and took down the shelves. Tomorrow, I'll wipe down the walls and lay down the drop cloths...and Thursday after work, I'll paint the ceiling and then prime the walls. Then Friday - the wall color goes up. Can you tell I'm excited? I'M EXCITED.

Our glider came in this week - so when we pick up the furniture on Saturday or Sunday...we'll have almost all of the pieces in the room. At which point, I will sit in said glider and stare, and stare, and stare....

26 weeks.

2009-08-04T09:24:00.002-05:00

How far along? 26 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About + 20 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Indeed.
Stretch marks? Boob and thighs. Fun for all.
Sleep: Better, and less getting up at night. Although, back sleeping is now outlawed due to their tendency to induce BHs.
Best moment this week: Seeing the fam this past weekend!
Movement: Totally.
Food cravings: SUGAR.
Gender: Thinking girl.
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, probably forever.
Belly Button in or out? Barely innie.
What I miss: Sleeping on my back. Totally.
What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery painted, and picking up furniture this weekend!
Weekly Wisdom: Always love and cuddle your furbabies!!! And swelling sucks. :)
Milestones: The swelling hath begun.

The rings are off, and so is the watch.

2009-08-03T14:43:00.004-05:00

Swelling, party of 1.

Last week, my beloved Storm watch had to come off. It's got a metal band and could not be adjusted to work with my expanding wrists, so...I bought a new one and had the band set with room to expand. Here it is!

All last week and this past weekend my rings have been tight and uncomfortable, but I was dealing because I just didn't want them off yet. This morning at 5am, I woke up to actual pain in my ring finger...so I soaked my hands in super cold water and applied liberal soap, and FINALLY got them off. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be able to get them back on again for a while. Hopefully they WILL fit again someday.

I ordered a fake set to wear temporarily. It looks like this:

It was only $25...so we'll see how it works out. I had to order it a half size bigger than what my ring finger currently is (thanks so whole sizes only) so who knows if it'll fit. If it's big right away, I'm sure after a few weeks, it'll fit just fine.

Also - in test results news - the lab tech that told me my iron was low and to take supplements was kind of wrong. Apparently my number was 10.8, and they like it to be around 11 or higher when you're pregnant (since you have more blood volume, which tends to dilute your iron levels). The nurse I spoke to today said supplements weren't really necessary, that I could try to add iron in my diet and that should be enough. THANK GOD. I hear those iron pills do a real disservice to an already slowed digestive system. :)

Unexpected benefits of losing a kitty.

2009-07-30T10:26:00.003-05:00

Ladies (and gentlemen? There's gotta be at least one male reader, right?) - I actually slept through the night last night.

Holy crap.

Granted, I did wake up a couple times, but fell right back asleep. The most important part is that I did not get up ONCE - not even to pee. It's a miracle.

Sadly, I think it can be attributed to the fact that Miles is now in kitty heaven, and not knocking shit down every 2 hours because he's hungry or bored or just wants to be an ass.

And thus, the story. If you cry easily or just lost a pet or just don't feel like being depressed, I wouldn't bother reading the rest of this post. But it feels good to get it out there, so...here it is.

I'll start by saying the hubs is like, my effing hero. He was so strong for me when I couldn't be.

When I got home from work, the hubs had Miles outside in the front and I walked up from the train and just lost it. He felt so bad...but it wasn't even just seeing Miles, I'd been holding it in all day. To make matters worse, Miles was seemingly fine when I got home. I mean, I knew he'd get cruddy again at some point, but he was having a good moment of no snot or sneezing or anything. Then I started having second thoughts and was feeling so guilty for even considering putting him down, but the hubs kept reminding me that he WAS really sick.

We got there and they put us in this "Grieving room" that was like, a nicer, private waiting room. Our vet came in to put a catheter in his arm and reassured me that I was making the right decision. Hearing a medical professional say it made me feel better too. So, she came back with him and discussed what they were going to do, and we decided to have him cremated. Then she said she was just going to do it in that room, and I was like - "I can't. I can't be here and watch it. I feel guilty and horrible enough as it is to have just agreed to let you put him down." The hubs said he would stay because he didn't want him to die without at least one of us. So, I started saying goodbye to him and was about to leave the room but started bawling so I had to stick around for a few more seconds while I got my shit together. Suddenly Miles had this HUGE fit of sneezing and the worst snot I've ever seen come out of his little skull. It made me laugh for some reason, because even though it was horrible, it was EXACTLY what I needed to see in order to be okay with what was about to happen. I tried to wipe his nose, but our vet said she'd take care of it so I could get myself back in line so I could leave and walk through the regular waiting room. Like it mattered, I had myself together when I left the room and as soon as my foot entered the normal waiting area I just lost it. (I had to carry his effing empty carrier out to the car with a bunch of strangers and their pets looking at me - THE WORST.) So I went to the car and hyperventilate-cried for about 8 minutes until the hubs came out and it was over. He was SO upset, but it made me feel better that I wasn't a freak for being so heartbroken. The hubs said that Miles was pretty chill, they gave him the sedative so he just kind of laid down and went to sleep, and the hubs was telling him we loved him, and then the vet said "he's gone" and the hubs didn't even notice that he'd stopped breathing. So...pretty peaceful.

**big sigh**

It's weird being in a one cat household. Boo is certainly soaking up the attention we're giving him. We both feel guilty at the same time, like Miles is somehow seeing the attention we're showering on Boo and getting jealous or something (we were always VERY equal in our attention and love we showed to the boys when they were in the same room).

Each day will get better, but I expect it to suck for a few weeks. I started crying again in the shower this morning...but shower cries are better than the "at my desk" cries I was having on Monday and Tuesday.

I'm really REALLY looking forward to heading to my parents house this weekend. Getting away will help, I think.

25 weeks

2009-07-27T17:45:00.005-05:00

How far along? 25 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: About +/-17 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Indeed.
Stretch marks? My worst news to report. Leftie (that would be my left boob) has been stretchie stricken. Is there no mercy?!
Sleep: A little better, but I wake up a lot and struggle to get comfortable. I'm also a portable heater when I sleep. :)
Best moment this week: Passing the 1hr Glucose!
Movement: Yep. Had a few decent flips too! Mother- & Sister-in-laws got to feel a few kicks this weekend.
Food cravings: Still sweets. Think a gallon of chewy sprees. Mmm...
Gender: Thinking girl.
Labor Signs: Still with the Braxton Hicks, but cervix checked and NO movement on the active labor front, thank GOD.
Belly Button in or out? Barely innie.
What I miss: I already miss my kittie Miles. (More on that below.)
What I am looking forward to: Seeing my mom & dad and dad's family this weekend! And getting the nursery painted. :)
Weekly Wisdom: I'm hard pressed to come up with anything this week.
Milestones: Passing the glucose, and nearly onto the 6th month!

Onto the sad news. We've decided that the time has come to put our kitteh Miles to sleep. He's been ill for a number of years with both pre-cancerous inflammatory bowel disease and inflammatory rhinitis, and after this past weekend, he's grown ill enough where we can't justify prolonging his life anymore. He's such a sweet boy and does not deserve this, but we don't see an alternative. We love him so much, and he is more than part of the family. He has been my best buddy for the past 8 years, and he will be sorely missed. We'll more than likely be making his final appointment at the vet tomorrow or the next.

We'll miss you, my sweet sweet boy.

The Fruit: 25-28 weeks.

2009-07-27T17:42:00.001-05:00

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.